nt vs au

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I find a lot of Au sites seem to compare/make derision against Nt. I don’t understand where this intense dislike comes from. Sure for many of us we were excluded or teased as youngsters but being in that we are objective and logical primarily I don’t understand the need for the continuous ribbing Nts get on Au forums that they are not in attendance on. To me, it provides no productive use. If it is used to gain sympathy or comfort from other Au on the forum, due to the repeated influx of negative comments against Nt aren’t we over estimating negative experiences to our lives? It may assist many of us better to focus on the comparisons we share with Nt or the benefits of Nt. All Au will have to interact or have relations with Nt at some point so it is better to focus on the positive aspects more often than the negative, which offer little to no solution but undermine and tease Nt behind their backs which is exactly the treatment we should deplore towards ourselves.

If we cant offer any regular positive aspects about Nt, does it mean they are not a predominantly positive entity but that it is we who don’t understand them only.

Does anyone else notice negative Mt comments on other Au forums?

humans tend to unify into groups. Au's are often very different from NT's, but we are close enough to each other to possess the grouping instinct. Although we aren't helping our image very much to get together and hate on NT's together it can't really be avoided. Most of the time what Au's complain about is not peoples petty clique forming tendancy, but dozens of other things including 1 on 1 interaction, eye contact, personal space, social norms, ect.

I don't think we're making ourselves hypocrits too much since clique forming doesn't seem to be a very frequent complaint among aspies.

Honestly there will likely always be some of us that dislike non-autistics and vice versa. I think most of it is venting due to the circumstances that have come forth in our lives where some have been horribly teased and treated by non-autistics. Forums like this give us a place to discuss issues in our lives. Some people bring forth stronger sentiments than others. Is it right to do so? Not really but if one doesn't speak out and work through their feelings, it'll just build up inside and make things worse. I have a non-autistic younger son and his father is non-autistic, my oldest son is autistic and I'm an Aspie. I'm proud of who I am, yes I'm sick of the image that some non-autistics continue to propogate about autistics. Imagine how they'd likely feel if people felt the same about them and all and such. Likely not too great. Unfortunately the media and the thoughts of non-autistics finding a way to prenatally test for autism and such could lead to a 'eugenics' type situation for those on the autism spectrum because we are all 'disordered' and suffering from an equivalent to a devastating illness like cancer as some would compare it too which is honestly an ignorant comparison. I don't hate non-autistics but I do hate those that I read about purposely harming autistics especially children. I've read articles about non-autistics locking autistic children in cages and all, killing them, etc. It makes it hard to really maintain tolerance when it seems like the rest of the world (non-autistics) wish we didn't exist as we are. That we need to be 'normal' or not exist to make then feel good or something. If they can't be normal, then they have no place in this world. Would I let my son grow up with non-tolerance for non-autistics? No... definitely not, he has a wonderful non-autistic younger brother and he has a non-autistic father. He has learned a lot from being around his younger brother and they get along really well. Unfortunately it'll be hard for him and many others not just only us adults if this nonsense of be normal or find a cure or if can't find a cure... make sure the next generations are aborted due to prenatal testing, it's a scary thought and I can understand to a point of why the increasing dislike for non-autistics shows up on the forum. If it didn't show up on the forum where it could be vented out and talked about and worked through... it'd be out in public where something worse could happen and it would likely be the autistic that takes the brunt of it unfortunately. You wouldn't realize how many news related articles to crimes and such against autistics are out there right now. Until there is a way to show non-autistics more of the positive sides of us through positive awareness and all, they are just going to have 'misconceptions' promoted by the media to base their assumptions on.

This is not saying that it's a bad thing for autistics to vent in a place that is intended to support them, this is our safe haven, this is our place to work through things as a community. You'll always have different opinions and unfortunately if people don't like the opinions, you don't need to read the threads. Some people's opinions are stronger, some people's opinions aren't often voiced. Would you say this on a non-autistic forum if they were venting about autistics in their lives and mistreatment by autistics and all that they aren't allowed to work through their feelings?

Sure we can gripe about things, that's fine. It's the actions that hurt things the most. The point is that just because these sentiments show up on a forum doesn't mean that we all share those sentiments or have to share them. We are all individuals and we have our own perspectives, if we're not allowed those, what are we allowed to have? After all, free speech should be promoted as long as it's not going to lead to intentional physical violence off-line against others.

I think because humans of all kinds have an inclination to generalize anger at labeled groups.

I agree with the right to vent and work through things. I'm not going to go around heaping abuse on NTs, or share my feeling to them. But, I have endured loads of bulllying in my school years, and was in a relationship with an abusive NT who berated me about my AS traits constantly. Then I ended up pushing myself past my emotional and sensory limits on a regular basis just to appear "normal" to keep the tormentors off my back. It never worked. Needless to say, I have a lot of crap to work through.

I can't speak for everyone, but I don't think that venting automatically about things means I dislike or distrust NTs. For the most part, I get along with NTs. I just get frustrated about a lot of social things that have no intrinsic meaning or value to me, but I'm expected to participate in if I don't want to appear weird. I also get frustrated with sensory overload and people's lack of understanding of the concept.

I don't think venting is anything bad. After all, there are many, many people who vent their frustrations with us - calling us crazy, lazy, ret*d, unsociable - and their frustrations with us have become part of societal expectations. Not to mention the autistics who are injured and murdered simply because of being who we are.

Neither NT nor AU specifically advocate for the other side. The misunderstandings which provoke tensions underlines the lack of knowledge one has about the other. AU find subtle social interactions baffling and NT the focus and objective determinism of AU a cause for concern. AU is a story about stimuli and the fallout that occurs between NT and AU arising from this difference of processing.

I agree that a factual case for NT would serve to elucidate some of the subtle disconnections which occur between the two groups. Thinking about new ways to meet the obligations of society whilst limiting stress, to be understood without compromising ones personal philosophy and meeting NTs halfway, even if it means doing most of the heavy lifting in deducing that alternative pathway to connection.