Cracked Mask Syndrome

Post Reply New Topic

I have identified a behavior in myself that is probably not unique. Since I do not know a proper term for it, let's call it Cracked Mask Syndrome. I call it this because the most noticeable manifestation is the inability to hide my emotions, as if the mask I was wearing is broken, revealing my true face. It does not happen often, but I feel completely out of character when it occurs.

This most commonly happens any time I am overwhelmed with the number of people around me. Ex:I'm at work running a register and there's 8 people in line and the register's giving me problems, the phone is ringing, I'm being paged, there's nobody to help me, someone's head is on fire, and I'm supposed to be punched out. So maybe it's a problem with multi-tasking or being bound to something. It has also happened at parties, subway cars, concerts, anywhere where I'm packed like a sardine with no way out. If it gets real bad I cannot, no matter what I do, control my facial expressions, and they are not nice ones. It is extremely uncomfortable because it makes others uncomfortable when I am like this. Like if I try to smile, it comes out as a snarl. My eyes will narrow and my nose will crinkle. I most likely look like a have a stick up my ass. Most of the time I can hide my emotions if need be, but when this phenomena happens, I'm at it's mercy, completely powerless. It can last for a few minutes, or a half hour, depending on how long it takes for me to escape the situation and recuperate. If someone can get me to laugh, it usually helps bring me out of it but just thinking of something funny doesn't help. After it's over I often wonder why I couldn't overpower it. It also happens after I feel that I am being unfairly criticized. I can't help it, I do care what others think of me, so I do take things personally. I know this is a common Aspie thing, but has anyone else experienced this kind of behavior after someone judges you?

When I recently experienced this, somebody said that at the time I looked "disgusted" and another thought I was in pain (I certainly was on the inside). It sucks because when it happens, everyone takes it personally and thinks I'm mad at them or something since I'm grimacing at them. I don't mean to, it's a completely uncontrollable thing, no matter what I think about I cannot break out of it until I get away from the stimulus. I have yet to look at myself in the mirror when I am experiencing this. I will try to get a picture sometime if I can, but this only happens out in public when I'm least likely to have a camera available.

Has anyone else experience this, or heard of such a phenomena

Yes!

With me, my nervousness shows right through my smile as well as my scowls. I've even had people comment on it. This happens no matter how hard I try not to let things get to me.

For me though, it goes from emotion-less to emotional only it emanates more than it should through my facial expressions. Grinning at people is the very hardest for me. I'm not good at all at coming off genuine with a grin.


I've even had people mistaken me for being angry when it all it was..was nerves. I do believe that multi-tasking is very hard for most of us with forms of ASD. I know it is for me and it can get to a point where I go into a meltdown. I've now tried to be more assertive with this problem by being a little more open about it.

I think this happens to me sometimes too, but not quite as severe. I think that I've been more in control of my emotions now than I was when I was a kid, but I think this is different than hiding my emotions. It used to be very difficult for me to fake a real smile like they want you to do in customer service jobs. When I worked at McDonald's (my first job) my smile to the customers would be the corners of my lips drawn back as opposed to curled up. However, if I was in a good mood, or just heard a good joke I could definitly smile. I've since learned to fake a real smile.

I think that's kind of related, but of course you're talking more about negative emotions. Usualy whenever I expirence negative emotions, I cry. Yes, it's very embarasing, esspecialy when I'm angry, but I've learned (most of the time) how to control my emotions. This has more to do with actualy changing the emotion to a more possitive emotion, or even no emotion what so ever, rather than hiding it. It was difficult to learn, but somehow I can do it. I think I've been trying to do this since I was a kid, since my favorite character on the original Star Trek was Spock. Somehow I learned to be a Vulcan but only when my emotions made me feel uncomfortable.

Although, sometimes that has it's down sides too. Sometimes you know that you would just feel better if you cry, and I think I've lost the ability to cry. I mean I can squeze out a tear, but I mean just breaking down and crying uncontrolably, I haven't done that for over seven years. Even when people close to me have died. Well, any way don't know if this is what you were talking about or if it helped at all.

Absolutely. What an intelligent and insightful post! The OP is really in touch with his facial self-awareness (if not in control of the mask all the time).

I have this -- have had it worse in the past. Not as bad as the post described in the sense of snarls, etc, because I don't have that active of an affective response to other people.

I have a "mask" face where I have fixed or rigid expressions. In the past this was worse. Now I know how to put on a different kind of face, a more fluid one, but I only learned this recently. In the past my mask face was mostly responsible for weird expressions that didn't really reflect what was going on inside, jerky reflexive smiles that were unattractive, sneers for things that I was trying to think about, and (I was told) extremely snobby and clueless looks.

The more I got involved in trying to keep control over the "mask" face, the worse it generally got. The only time I didn't have it with people is when I felt totally uninhibited for some reason, so I associated its appearance as some kind of social anxiety or insecurity. I.e. it was the face I put on with people with whom I felt the need for any kind of personal boundary.

I didn't like it and it was ugly and made me look stupid, in my opinion.

The new faces I know how to put on -- "fluid" face -- I don't like to use a lot because they require energy and take up a lot of sensorimotor "bandwidth". They are more attractive, confident and fluid. The problem with them is that they require I stop thinking and processing inside and basically shut down my systemizing. So I can walk around happy and projecting a calm, confident face, but only if I'm empty and blank intellectually at the time. In order to have a good "fluid" face, you also have to force yourself into a good "fluid" body language mood. So this takes a lot of prep and energy and I don't like to do it often. If I do it a lot I get faster and better at putting the "fluid" face on.

Most of the time, like when I am shopping or something, I use my "iPhone blank" face. That is a passive, noncommittal partially relaxed face. It's as close to I can get to a fluid face without shutting down my internal systemizing. So I shop, etc, listening to my iPhone, with a nondescript face on. Having earphones on also helps me keep the "iPhone blank" face because people look at me, see I have my earphones in, and then obviously don't pay attention to my face because (I have noticed) when you have earphones in people don't try to read your face (I think they realize you're engaged in whatever you're listening to and not reacting to their presence).

Hope this helps.

I understand what you are saying. However, I, too idolized Spock when I was younger, and managed to keep a blank face most of the time.

When I get overwhelmed people usually think I'm angry, which I am not. Or they think I'm looking like I am condescending. I look aloof and disdainful. I can't help it, I'm trying not to become totally overwhelmed.

The blank face is just that...I open my eyes a bit to take the edge off the look, and just leave it that way. People always find it a little odd, but better than any fake emotion I may come up with. Furthermore, at least they don't think I'm angry.

I tend to grimace when I'm concentrating, and people take it like I am disgusted.

But all this to say I understand what you are saying. Learning to school your emotions on your face can be difficult.

Even though people cannot read my facial expressions correctly most of the time, I would not say I'm wearing a mask. My face reflects what I feel. The problem is other people are mind blind when it comes to interpreting my emotions because they don't know me. They're judging by the wrong set of tools and are not even aware of it.

I believe people who don't want to know how differently others can portray an emotion are those who want to feel in control. That would explain why someone might say an Aspie's facial expressions aren't functioning 'properly'. It's all relative; not absolute.

yes. however, over the years I've learnt to recognise when my face is about to crack, and do something about it (if possible) before it happens. for example, any social events that I manage to drag myself to drain me very quickly, and when I feel like my face is about to 'crack' I quickly will disappear (usually into the toilets, or if it's real bad I go home) and sit there until my face feels like it's rearranged back into normal/presentable.

I have difficulty controlling my facial expressions almost all of the time. Occasionally I can 'put on' an expression, but I think it is often exaggerated. When I worked in customer service I was always being told to smile and look like I was happy, but I couldn't keep it up for very long before slipping back into blankness or worry, which are my normal expressions. Also, sometimes I seem to have facial expressions that bear no relation to what I'm feeling. Someone will say to me 'what are you so worried about?' when actually I'm not worried at all, I just look like that for no reason.

When I shutdown during times of prolonged social interaction, I can't keep my social façade on anymore, and experience these same kinds of things including some apparently funny facial expressions. Pretty much exactly what little-bird said.