I don't believe I am an aspie... maybe something else.

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Firstly this is my first post so thank you for your time.

My Aspie diagnosis story is no doubt the same as many of the parents here.

My eldest, well above average IQ, impressive math skills, poor memory for "unimportant things" poor understanding of English, teacher suggests he may have a learning disability.

Get the school shrink to run a test, comes back well above average everything.

Shrink wants us to get him checked for AHAD/ADD, Dad (me) starts researching and learns all about the autism spectrum. Dad researches for 48 hours over three days, calling people, going to libraries, speaking with professional. Dad is convinced he knows everything there is to know about the spectrum.

Eldest goes to see podiatrist. Podiatrist thinks it could be ADS/ahad/aniexty disorder.

Dad does more research and finds there is a proven genetic link between ADS father and son. Dad looks at his Dad (whom is a clinical definition of an Aspie).

We go back and see the Podiatrist however it is just me and the doc and I grill him. The doc suggests and "easy out" of putting the eldest (7) on Prozac and Ritalin. <-- not gonna happen.

I challenge the doc with a "So he is a bit withdrawn, he is no different then me when I was that age" - Doc concludes that I most likely have Aspersers.

CLICK......

So things start falling into place.

It explains my school years to a tea bad/inappropriate peer relationships
True lack of empathy for those I am not in direct contact with - I try to care... I just can't.
That being said, I have a very strong sense of social justice even if I can not empathise with the victims.
I think in patterns.. to this day I couldn't tell you why a word is spelt the way it is, it just is.
I can pick up any instrument and play it straight away.
I used to hack mainframes for fun when I was 10 (its just number crunching)
I can research things so much that I become anxious about them.
I really do have an understanding of the world that most don't and I’m not just being an arrogant bastard


What isn't right though with the Diagnosis is that I can read eyes, body language etc.

Maybe I have trained myself too over the years? I am constantly asking "why" .. Why is Bill standing that way, "why is he tapping his pinky against his belt" "what emotion is he conveying"

So, yeah thats me and I suspect my sone.

Either I am an Aspie who learnt over come social blindness or I am not one at all.

Your thoughts?

P.S. I am grammar blind so if something is a little difficult to read please forgive me.

you might still be.

I can appear to understand some nonverbal communication. But usually I end up having to think through every conversation which is exhausting and leads to me avoiding people who use it too much. But if the nonverbal communication is subtle I will not notice it.

If you have serious questions about your 'being' you really need to see a professional as most of us here are just novices with personal opinions and that's not at all what you need. The doctors here can speak for themselves.

Shiggily - You mean faking it and hoping your showing the right emotional response?

If so then thats me all right.

Anyone else?

garyww - You are of course correct, the thing that concerns me though is that a lot of professionals have different thoughts on what ASD is and levels, I see a few people talking about higher functioning or even flavours of ASD. Its very hard for me to put faith in a science still in its infancy.

I am not looking for a net diagnosis but I am after opinions and experiences.

Thanks for your time guys

"What isn't right though with the Diagnosis is that I can read eyes, body language etc.

Maybe I have trained myself too over the years? I am constantly asking "why" .. Why is Bill standing that way, "why is he tapping his pinky against his belt" "what emotion is he conveying" "

You're comfortable with looking at people and being curious about the environment, I on the other hand am introverted and am constantly 'in my mind', I find the inner world more fascinating then the outer world.

I think it comes down to where your natural attention lies most of the time and this for some prevents them from learning social cues/behaviour because their 'mind eye' in terms of attention is always directed towards inner stimuli and inner creative thoughts rather then externally at least when out and about socializing.

I think (not professionally sure) that NTs communicate very instinctively, while Aspies seem to need to think through the situation (with varying levels of success).

I'm not sure that this means you can read nonverbal cues. From what I hear, NTs read these cues intuitively, not by asking questions and trying to analyze what's going on.

Also, are you sure that you are reading the cues correctly much of the time? Before I stumbled on AS and got diagnosed, I thought I was very intuitive and could read people very well. Of course, that didn't quite mesh with my being constantly frustrated with not being able to understand why they acted so completely contrary to logic, but, well, that was then and this is now.

It's clear that something is clicking about all this, and I think following your instincts is a good idea. (My social intuition is < 0, but I ignore my instincts at my peril...) I don't know your financial situation, but would it be possible to get your son evaluated, just to put your mind at rest? You could do the same for yourself as well. There are lots of people who self-diagnose, and I have no trouble with that (some do), but I really needed a third party to say, "Yes, Mrs. Ruach, you are quite sane and you also have Asperger's."

The refrain I keep hearing on this website is "if you know one Aspie, you know one Aspie." Because we're all different. As I understand it, Aspies can learn social skills from those around them. Maybe your father was very withdrawn, an Aspie, but if your mother was sociable and you saw her interacting with other people frequently, you could have learned skills from her.

yeah, I am learning that the hard way

non all people with any "disorder" will have the same symptoms. the dsm takes traits of people and trys to classify them as best as they can to fit a group of people. I cant read facial expressions hardly at all, and do not understand emotions, but i have no trouble making friends since ive been about 18. Its best to try to work on improving your symptoms than the overall disorder. Most people have various symptoms of various disorders and are diagnosed with what they fit best.

Hey jol and welcome.

i can read some non-verbal cues but as neshamarucah points out - i have to traverse a cogntiive path when i do so. at 46 i am better at it that i used to be as an adolescent. i am very good - excellent in fact - at face reading, but combine face reading with verbals and i am lost in a sea of foreign language in my own tongue! but i am still an aspie....

as someone above says - if you have met one aspie, then you have met ONE aspie.

the traits manifest differently in each of us.

if you are concerned go and get sussed out by someone experienced in AS....and not your local gp or podiatrist!!



good luck

There are varying degrees of Asperger's, some of the most severe being the cases where the person is unable to read people at all, and some of the more mild cases being where the person can read facial expression and body language but still lacks the skills necessary to have a fluid conversation.

IMHO, both levels of the condition are possible to work around through practice and by knowing what to actually look for in a conversation.

if you can "hack mainframes" you must know how to program, why not pick that up again.

I can read eyes, body language etc. also. I do it by pretending that I am that person. I am good at impersonating others as well.

I can do body language fine.

What happens is Aspies observe and copy with body language, so they learn how to use it and what it means.

Also, every Aspie is effected in a different way... You may have some symptoms strong, some medium, some weak and some symptoms may not even effect you at all.

whats a mainframe?