I'm an undiagnosed Aspie, high-functioning, not savant, but not neurotypical. I have a pre-teen son who is the main reason I'm interested in this web-community. I think it's great that (a) my son has a diagnosis, this makes life with the school much easier, and (b) that he has a father who understands how his brain works, because mine works basically the same way, although I grew up in the 1970s and in a community that did not understand me at all, there were certain saving graces for me, and although we are divorced his mother and I are working together carefully to be the best possible team to help our son out. She has a background in special-education and is a teacher/educator. So my son has a lot of things going for him that a lot of Aspie kids don't have.
I survived my teens by disappearing from life, really. I found computers and disappeared into my room for about ten years. When I came out again, I had a career option instead of a hobby. But I was the typical Aspie in terms of relationships, and social skills: None.
Fast forward fifteen more years and I am a divorced father of two, happy with my life, and at last, I think, I have come to a point where the mental areas where I am very high functioning have helped me to find a happy, sane, benevolent way to live with others, and most importantly with myself as I am. I am still an introvert, and I have some sharp edges. But my focus here is my son.
My son has no friends. He has no social skills. He is not interested in anything you are interested in, unless it's one of the things he's interested in. He shuts down. He stares at his shoes. He avoids eye contact.
But he is a very warm and affectionate boy towards his mom and his dad. We have a healthy bond. He listens to me, and I listen to him. He shares with me, and he and I have a connection that I never had with my dad, or my mom, during my own childhood. We have a diagnosis from a well known child psychologist who specializes in Aspergers. So far we think this is primarily just a piece of paper. Except for one thing; It does help us with schools. Getting access to the special-education resources that our son needs requires that piece of paper.
Nevertheless, I am of the "labels are just labels" school on this subject. And yet, when I read books about Aspergers, it nails him (and me) with astonishing accuracy. So there you are. I just watched "Mozart and the Whale" on DVD tonight. I just love the scenes where she rocks back and forth, especially on the springy-horse-thing. I did that. Boy did I do that. I spent half my childhood on that horse thing. I still rock myself to sleep sometimes. Anybody else else? Any aspie dads of aspie preteen boys here?
Canadian Froggy.
29 Dec 2008, 2:29 am
