Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Anonymom
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 4

31 Dec 2008, 7:05 pm

Hello and help

My 12.5 y-o AS son is going to a party tonight. Adults (me included) will be upstairs, kids downstairs. DS has a great time at parties; very outgoing and social, but goes too far. Gets too loud, too silly. Other kids cringe. I want him to have fun but to be accepted. What can I tell him?



31 Dec 2008, 8:21 pm

Can you tell him what the rules are and what he can't do there and how he shall behave?



Sir_Beefy
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 183
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Maryland

01 Jan 2009, 12:27 am

Um, I REALLY REALLY hate to say this, but things of this nature can't be learned any other way than the hard way. You could tell him something that could be framed on this website, and chances are it won't make a difference. I learned all this stuff the hard way, and it has paid off big time. I'm still not perfect, but I'm more aware when I'm loud than I used to be. When I was that age, I had problems with partys and stuff. And I have mild AS. So I'm sorry to tell you, but he needs to fall on his face in order to learn this. When he does, talk to him about it and what he could do differently. If I had the luxury of having someone right after the party to tell me what I was doing wrong...


_________________
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world...looking really funny because nobody has eyes." - Jon Lajoie


ster
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,485
Location: new england

01 Jan 2009, 8:22 am

other than being in the room to monitor the party, there's not a whole lot you can do......depends on what you mean by "goes too far."....if you mean that he talks too much/too honestly- i have no answer for this. my daughter does the same- haven't figured out how to help her yet..................if you mean that he is in other's personal space or that he behaves inappropriately, then giving him behavior rules *might* work.



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,689
Location: Northern California

01 Jan 2009, 8:31 pm

He can't be too horrible if he's actually included in social situations. So that is the postive side.

I think most helpful for my son are the friends who will always be his friends, who are willing to take him as he is, but also aren't afraid to tell him to simply stop a behavior. He doesn't pay attention anymore if it comes from me; he needs to hear it from friends. Not kids he isn't friends with; he couldn't care a less what they think. He needs to hear it from FRIENDS. Then, MAYBE, he'll work on it.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).