Umm

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I'm not so sure about this so I dunno if I'll keep it up or delete it. Yesterday I went sailing with a mate and we got into some trouble. To cut the story down, her mother, who was on the rescue boat, jumped in to help us. She was probably knocked unconcious somehow, and she got trapped beneath our boat. Luckily she got CPR in time and should be okay. That's only half of the problem though. I've pretty much deleted it from my feelings - I went into an emotionless state when it was happening and have kept it blocked away as much as possible since, apart from an anxiety attack last night. But I have to give a statement about what happened and I'm scared to open up those feelings again. It was pretty horrific... we were in the water for an hour all up and my friend was panicking really badly... I'm just struggling with what to say in this statement and well everything really..
I dunno...

When you give your statement, would it work to pretend you are describing a movie or TV show you were watching? That works well for me when people make me talk about stressful situations . . . I have a high degree of disassociation, though, so it is not hard for me to just take it that one step further . . .

I'm glad it worked out as well as it did, though . . . that must have been hard . . .

I don't think it's possible to remember it as if describing a movie or TV show thing... I hate horror movies and well... some parts are pretty graphic... I pulled her face above the water and foam was coming out of her nose and mouth... it wasn't pretty. It is really hard to make that into a movie - at least in a movie I know it's not real. This was real. Plus she was caught in ropes and wires.
I think the way that I'm going to do it is just tell my parents everything that happened on the day and they will write it down and forward it to the yacht club. I'd actually rather tell someone other than my parents but I don't think it's possible.
Now we just have to hope she doesn't have brain damage or anything - they were going to do a recognition test after they took her out of an induced coma so...

Would it be easier to speak it out loud or to write it? I know personally I have a much easier time with writing... You've already done some of that here... if you could just write it out, you might be able to forward it to the yacht club yourself and not have to involve your parents. Would they understand if you said you didn't feel comfortable talking about it more to them?

They know what I'm required to say, I don't have a clue. I don't know if they want the story or how the situation could have been improved or what. It should be okay. I'm seeing my psychologist tomorrow/today since it's early morning so she might help/write/have some ideas or something. It's just taking it out of it's locked up space.

They will just want to know the sequence of events surrounding the incident. What was happening before, had she had any alcohol to drink, how long was she in the water for, who applied the CPR etc. What were you sailing, Asta?

She was on the rescue boat.. I can tell them all the events apart from why she didn't move when she started floating under the mainsail, which is why I deduced that she was knocked unconscious. My friend thought much along the same lines as me, so something happened. She obviously hadn't drunken anything, and time... I lost track of. All I know is that we were in the water for an hour all up. Danlo, there was a small article about it in the paper on Monday I think.
I was sailing my boat... a 'National 125', 12.5 foot racing dinghy.
Anyway it looks good, she's breathing on her own now, and she's just coming out of the coma. Her eyes flicker when her families names are mentioned. So it should be good. She tried to talk but she can't yet because there are too many tubes and everything. She should make a full recovery.
I talked to my psych and she said I need to get my feelings out - but I have no idea what my feelings actually are. I shut them down when the event was happening and they've remained shut down since. She said that she's seen people who have suffered from post-trauma incidents because they kept it locked away because they were fearful. And now I'm worrying about how I feel. Gah.

I still can't figure out what my feelings are so I'm just going to leave it alone and not worry about them... that's probably what will make it worse, but I'm sick of getting confused over how I feel. Infuriating.
It was The West Australian, Larval .