Page 1 of 4 [ 53 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Padium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,369

12 Jan 2009, 5:40 pm

Anyone find that they have difficulties with some theory of the mind stuff? For example, I often like to think that just because I close the door to my room that my roomies in the next room over can't hear my music, even though I know that is not true. But I will not bother with my music when my door is open just because I don't want to be judged based on what I listen to. Anyone else have experiences like this?



marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

12 Jan 2009, 6:26 pm

I have the experience of only being able to listen to music alone with headphones. Other people listening to what I play makes me nervous for some reason. I feel like I'll be scrutinized.



Mage
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,054

12 Jan 2009, 6:27 pm

I think if you know that they will still be able to hear the music, your action seems more based on perceived privacy than Theory of Mind (or lack thereof).

When I say I lack theory of mind I usually refer to my general misunderstanding of what people know and what people want. I frequently send out reports that get sent back to me with questions (What do these abbreviations mean?) because I never remember that not everyone knows the specifics of my job. I can never figure out what others might want for presents, what they would want to eat, or what their future plans might be.



garyww
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,395
Location: Napa, California

12 Jan 2009, 6:33 pm

The theory of mind stuff has been way overblown by the scientific community so take what you read with a grain of salt as it ends up that a lot of 'normal' people have the same problem.


_________________
I am one of those people who your mother used to warn you about.


poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

12 Jan 2009, 7:09 pm

I am somewhat confused by the concept of "Theory of Mind".

I wonder if an example of it would be this little trick my mind plays on me whenever I see a movie in a movie theatre..

After I am done seeing the movie, my mind briefly projects the attributes of the characters on the film upon the other people who are in the theater with me. I know better..but I frequently go through a brief phase of confusion...Likesay, if I watch a movie where someone is blind, for a moment, I will think the people in the theater are blind. I wonder why my mind does that...



Mysty
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,762

12 Jan 2009, 8:38 pm

I think the term theory of mind refers to having theories about what's going on in someone else's mind. Which means, understanding that what others know isn't what we know.

But, as I understand it, it doesn't have to be always accurate. Not understanding how someone different from you thinks doesn't mean lacking theory of mind. Unless maybe that falls under some higher level. Not totally sure. But if you can understand the perspective of someone who thinks like you but has a different perspective on the situation, you do have theory of mind.



glider18
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: USA

12 Jan 2009, 11:38 pm

garyww wrote:
The theory of mind stuff has been way overblown by the scientific community so take what you read with a grain of salt as it ends up that a lot of 'normal' people have the same problem.


Interesting comment here by garyww about "normal" people experiencing the same problem. I went to my third therapy session last Saturday. The therapist also wanted my wife and two sons to attend. I am trying to be a better father by involving myself in my sons' interests. The therapist gave me advice to help. Then he said, "Actually, non-autistic parents deal with this same problem...it's hard for many of them to involve themselves in their children's interests." So many of the issues here are things that NTs also experience.

As for listening to music, I do usually use headphones because I like the privacy it offers me.



Greentea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

13 Jan 2009, 2:03 am

I didn't know that people hated monologues about my interests and experiences. I think this is an example of what they mean by us not having a Theory of Mind. In fact, in my late forties I'm still painstakingly learning what people don't like, what they're like. This is my biggest problem.


_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.


animal
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 282
Location: Vic.

13 Jan 2009, 2:30 am

These days, my problem is that I know other people aren't thinking the same things that I am, so I know I sometimes will have to explain everything to them. But I can't figure out what things they can come up with by themselves, and what I have to tell them. So I tend to slip into the assumption that people are basically computers who have to be told everything in exact detail. I think that some people may think that I think they're stupid for this reason.



cman_yall
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 Oct 2006
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Wellington, NZ

13 Jan 2009, 3:01 am

I think the "lacks theory of mind" thing is not so much that we can't imagine what other people might be thinking, feeling, etc, it's more that it never really occured to us to try and do so. Or at least, that's what I think now, looking back on childhood experiences. Until someone pointed out to me that I was this way (aspie or a wierdo, depending on how you choose to look at it) I never really thought about what other people might be thinking. Obviously this was combined with being no good at all at figuring out what they might be thinking, but that was more lack of practice, I think. These days I still can't read body language, and I probably give off wierd signals, but I have become accustomed to the idea that I need to care what other people think.


_________________
Diagnosed but unconvinced... I reckon I'm just a rude and arrogant wierdo :P


13 Jan 2009, 3:29 am

I sometimes forget people don't think the same as me so I assume they will think what I think.


I also don't know something I will say might upset someone so I don't say it at all because it's better than pissing someone off than doing it and not knowing.

I still have troubles putting myself in situations I have never been in before. If someone asked me what would I do if X happened, I might find it really difficult to answer because I have no experienced it yet. But yet I can picture myself running out of gas in my city and what do I do, I get out and call my aunt and uncle and tell them I ran out of gas so they can bring me some and I can put it in my tank and go to a gas station to fill it up. I also tend to give out random answers to these difficult questions but they are not genuine answers.



Bella1
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 137
Location: Australia

13 Jan 2009, 5:59 am

I've been having troubles at work with people not listening or not understanding what I'm saying. To me it makes perfect sense and it's entirely logical. The managers implemented a new system at work and I did the new system for one day and saw a logical flaw in it. The flaw was that one process in the middle was redundant. I tried to explain this to the different people and I tried to slow down and explain it step by step. But they just didn't seem to understand.

I came home and explained the flaws to my husband, who is an aspie and doesn't work with me or know anything about my job and he understood! I have come across this before where I think it's me not being clear enough and I try to explain things simply and clearly, but people still look at me confused and I don't understand why they don't get it - it's so clear in my head.

Is this theory of mind at work? That they don't understand the way I think because it's different and I don't understand explaining things so their minds understand them?



Mysty
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,762

13 Jan 2009, 10:35 am

Bella, I sometimes find that even in explaining something simple, and doing so directly, others don't get it. But I have a theory. There was a webpage linked here that talks about aspies learning to turn off their systemizing thinking in social situations. To not use that when it's not appropriate. My theory is that NTs (at least some of them) don't turn on systemizing like they should. I don't really see it as a theory of mind thing. At least, not if it's something that really is best dealt with using systemizing thinking. Well, I guess not understanding their thinking could be a theory of mind thing (not sure, I'm thinking it's more empathy), but I don't think not being able to explain it so they understand is. I think it's their mind not being in the right spot.

Cman_yall, what you say fits with someone I know. My impression is, he sometimes just doesn't think about the other person's perspective. It's not that he can't. It's that he doesn't. As for whether I myself am sometimes guilty of that, I don't know. I know that sometimes I have no problem with that. Understanding how other people think can be a problem, but understanding that their perspective is different than mind I can do. I can know how I would see things if I was in their place just fine. This is one of the things that makes me a good writer, I think. But, I can't guarantee there aren't times when I forget that.

I'm wondering, though, maybe, when we don't think to see the other's perspective, it's because it comes less automatically to us. Maybe we don't lack theory of mind, but it's just less automatic.



ike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 693
Location: Boston, MA

13 Jan 2009, 11:24 am

Padium wrote:
Anyone find that they have difficulties with some theory of the mind stuff? For example, I often like to think that just because I close the door to my room that my roomies in the next room over can't hear my music, even though I know that is not true. But I will not bother with my music when my door is open just because I don't want to be judged based on what I listen to. Anyone else have experiences like this?


This doesn't sound to me like Theory of Mind... My interpretation of ToM is that it's about being able to rationalize what another person might be thinking on the basis of their perspective (what information they have or are likely to have).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind

Quote:
The canonical test of ToM ability is the false-belief task. One of the most important milestones in theory of mind development is gaining the ability to attribute false belief: that is, to recognize that others can have beliefs about the world that are wrong. To do this, it is suggested, one must understand how knowledge is formed, that people’s beliefs are based on their knowledge, that mental states can differ from reality, and that people’s behavior can be predicted by their mental states. Numerous versions of the false-belief task have been developed, based on the initial task done by Wimmer and Perner (1983).[19]

In the most common version of the false-belief task (often called the ‘Sally-Anne’ task), children are told or shown a story involving two characters. For example, in one version, the child is shown two dolls, Sally and Anne, playing with a marble. The dolls put away the marble in a box, and then Sally leaves. Anne takes the marble out and plays with it again, and after she is done, puts it away in a different box. Sally returns and the child is then asked where Sally will look for the marble. The child passes the task if she answers that Sally will look in the first box where she put the marble; the child fails the task if she answers that Sally will look in the second box, where the child knows the marble is hidden, even though Sally cannot know, since she did not see it hidden there. In order to pass the task, the child must be able to understand that another’s mental representation of the situation is different from their own, and the child must be able to predict behavior based on that understanding.


The criticisms of the test have to do largely with the fact that the test is pass/fail and that it makes a lot of assumptions about the test-taker's thinking. For example, the test taker may assume that Sally and Anne had a lengthy discussion of all the possible places where the marble might be prior to Sally's leaving the room and therefore Sally might simply not expect the marble to be in the place she left it after she returns. I personally have a difficult time following that line of reasoning, since it seems like that would lead them to saying "she'll ask Anne" rather than pointing to the box, in which case you would know that the test didn't work the way it's expected to work. I have a hard time imagining a scenario in which the test taker uses inductive reasoning to conclude via ToM that Sally comes back into the room and goes straight to the box first before anything else. I suppose that could just be my interpretation.

The thing with music and the door sounds more like a quirk... although at one job I worked for a while, I had a closed office and I turned my radio down (I thought "way down") and had assumed because I myself, sitting not more than 2' from the speaker could barely hear it, that obviously no one else could hear it beyond my closed office door. Apparently I was horribly mistaken as my boss later told me that he was rather annoyed by my continual music but hadn't said anything about it prior.

Though it doesn't seem to me that being able to know what people might like as gifts would fall into the ToM category either -- that sounds more like simply not having observed the other person's preferences.

I don't think not knowing which abbreviations or acronyms need to be spelled out in a report falls into the category of ToM either. I know that other people aren't always aware of the abbreviations that are used in my job, but that doesn't mean they'll necessarily be unfamiliar with a given abbreviation. If I say XML for example, many people don't know what that is, but they've heard the term and are apt to just ignore it in a report, essentially substituting the term "XML" with "black magic". As in, "We plan to use black magic to solve problems x, y, z." The person reading the report is often less interested in how the problem is resolved than they are in the fact that there is a plan to resolve it, so they're happy to know that "black magic" will be a solution. But none of these things give you any kind of specific input that would allow you to rationalize what the other person is thinking (as in the Sally Anne test you know the specific inputs of the marble's placement and Sally's leaving the room).

However even if it never occurred to you that others might not be familiar with an abbreviation, that may not indicate a lack of ToM either, because that kind of assumption that others think similarly is common amongst NTs as well. There are a few cognitive biases related to this, such as déformation professionnelle as well as false concensus and the availability heuristic. So even to the NT it often doesn't occur to them that others don't know what XML means because they're familiar with it as part of their job.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A9for ... ssionnelle
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consensus_effect
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Availability_heuristic


_________________
Are you a HooLiGaN?
http://www.woohooligan.com/archive.php?a=wp


Last edited by ike on 13 Jan 2009, 11:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

AmberEyes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,438
Location: The Lands where the Jumblies live

13 Jan 2009, 11:24 am

MR wrote:
But I have a theory. There was a webpage linked here that talks about aspies learning to turn off their systemizing thinking in social situations.


I agree with this idea.
Point taken, but what happens if you can't switch off?

I've been trying to "switch off" for years and still find myself focusing on random objects in the physical environment and including them in conversation. I also find myself analysing the patterns and rhythm in the music when I should really be talking to with other people.

I just can't seem to help it. It's like my anlyse/chat switch is stuck on anlayse until someone else (usually a bewildered listener) has to manually change the settings for me. Even then, this metaphorical switch flips back when I stop talking and other things in the environment are competing for my attention.



ike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 693
Location: Boston, MA

13 Jan 2009, 11:47 am

Bella1 wrote:
Is this theory of mind at work? That they don't understand the way I think because it's different and I don't understand explaining things so their minds understand them?


I don't think so... You seem to have identified the primary concern with ToM (if I've read the literature correctly), which is understanding that other people have a different perspective and that their perspective may not map accurately to reality. Your issue seems to come after that. You may have difficulty filling in the gap for them with your explanation, but the actual ToM part you seem to be handling fine.


_________________
Are you a HooLiGaN?
http://www.woohooligan.com/archive.php?a=wp