Tony Attwood : Aspies can be fine parents.

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This is from another board. Tony Attwood used to have some involvement with FAAAS: FAAAS has repeatedly stated that Aspies make bad parents and partners.

Tony distances himself from this view,

I'm glad to hear him come out and say that.

My father, the one with Asperger's, was by far the superior parent and still is. My NT, self-absorbed, and materialistic mother was terrible and still is. Crappy mom, crappy grandma, etc. Unfortunately, my dad's "personality disorder" he was diagnosed with- "antisocial personality disorder" came into play when my folks divorced with the custody issues and mom got custody of the 4 kids under 18.

Who Tony Atwood

I'm a great parent, or so I've been told.

I do get overwhelmed by the chaos of my kids sometimes (3 little ones), but I feel that I am a good parent.

So screw whoever said we can't be.

And ya know what, I completely agree with you! I am told I am a good mum, I have BIG Aspie traits as my AD'H'D does tend to drown everything else out. My kids are happy and doing well, my friends like me........so I am happy.

I think we all get overwhelmed at times! There would not be a parent on the planet who could not identify with that! That is what being a parent is all about.....................challenges!

And for the record Prof Tony Attwood ROCKS! Have a huge amount of respect for him and his contribution to the Aspie community. My son who is Aspergers Syndrome has him as one of his heroes. Prof Tony Attwood has openly stated many times how much he likes and respects those on the spectrum. Without him, many of us would be none the wiser. He has awakened so much awareness internationally, and as he from the UK, I am proud to say that he is one of our treasures.

Tony Attwood................RESPECT

i am a parent fraught with complexities. THere are many things my son;t father does for our son that i do not do. it is almost unbearable for me to eat dinner with them. it is hard for me to be involved in the group dynamics of card games or other board games like scrabble. I often do it and feel like i am dying inside. it is like a weird suffocation and gagging.

BUT, having said that, i offer my son extraordinary things that he might not have access to if he were to have a different kind of mother.
i am poor with practical things. i do not find it easy to shop regularly or to live by any other routines other than those that are based on my own internal logic and my own special interests. my son calls me one of "the freaky people." he has told me i am not like the other mothers at his school and he has told me he loves me and likes it that way. He starts in a gifted and talented program when school goes back in a couple of weeks. He is really beautiful and amazing and i am a wonderful parent in some respects and a rather strange mother in other respects. he loves the fact i can mimic people. he loves lots of weird things about me. i think being a parent is the best creation i ever performed.

the thing about parenting is this....it is simultaneously the most extraordinary/rarefied and yet the most common thing. most people can do it. i find it fascinating that the most incredible thing in the world is open to just about all human beings (unless you are infertile.) i take my role as a parent very seriously. it has opened my heart.

and yes, attwood is pretty clued up in my view. in australia we like him and his views i think, more than in some other places. here on a thread a while back, someone contributed a rather long diatribe about Tony Attwood's star-making speaker circuit self. i beg to differ. he's just a man doing his thing. why the friggin hell shouldn't he get ahead?. I like his vodcast on his website. it is very good and one gets a sense of how sincere he is in his views about AS.

I'm really glad to hear Tony Attwood say this, as I am also a great mom, and that's not just my opinion. My NT 16-year-old says she has "the best mom in the world." How many NT parents of NT teenagers hear THOSE words?

Hopefully, Attwood's words will have an impact on Aspies who are not considering parenting because they've bought the misconception that they would not be good at it. This is not to say all Aspies would make good parents, any more than all NTs make good parents, but I hope that Aspies will not disqualify themselves just on the basis of having AS.

yes, nesh i think that is very true. and one can tell from the way you write about your relationship with your daughter than you are a good parent. it is inspiring to read, especially as my son is still so young and i have a lot of years ahead with him.

i would like Yoda's wisdom to help me through sometimes...

thank you. yes. it is.
i must check your blog today.