Just curious, why it is that a male has to..

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Doomcookie
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16 Jan 2009, 9:28 pm

Lead a relationship, why it is that the guy has to ask the girl.

Now, mind you, I'm not asking for help or something like that, and I'm only 15, but this is something that just bothers me. I don't understand.. why it is that if I stood any chance of being in a relationship with a girl, I would have to be some emotionless rock. It's fine if she cries.. but I can't? I weight 190, and struggle to lift 7 and half a pounds, for a female, it's fine if she can't lift her body-weight, but because I'm a male, I have to be the one who can do everything? Why do I have to be the one who listens to the other pour their heart out, and comfort them?

I don't know if anyone will understand what I'm trying to say, but hopefully I was able to make it clear what I was trying to say.

It's just something I wanted to get off my chest, and I don't have anywhere-else to ask it.



pakled
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16 Jan 2009, 9:34 pm

because that's the way it is, in not just humans, but many other species as well. Women get to do the choosing, to ensure that the species improve, etc.



Tias
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16 Jan 2009, 10:48 pm

We are sadly sterotyped into this "leading" role : /
and people expect it to go that way.

I mean in my german class, the girls (mostly girls) began talking about men and somethign with crying.
That men did not cry, and it was not masculine and whatever and crap, i argued that it was ridicules and that it was simply sterotyping men into a role, and women, always talking about equality between them, if so, then it should be okey for men to cry to, and women to wear jeans/mens cloth, but when something out of the ordinary happens, they are called something...

Wuss....Tomboy, and god knows what else :?



Prof_Pretorius
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16 Jan 2009, 11:09 pm

You're only 15, lad you have no idea how bad it gets later on ......


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KazigluBey
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16 Jan 2009, 11:20 pm

Tias wrote:
We are sadly sterotyped into this "leading" role : /
and people expect it to go that way.


Biology stereotyped this, so there isn't much to be done about it--it's how we are programmed (so to speak).

Quote:
I mean in my german class, the girls (mostly girls) began talking about men and somethign with crying.
That men did not cry, and it was not masculine and whatever and crap, i argued that it was ridicules and that it was simply sterotyping men into a role, and women, always talking about equality between them, if so, then it should be okey for men to cry to, and women to wear jeans/mens cloth, but when something out of the ordinary happens, they are called something...

Wuss....Tomboy, and god knows what else :?


Crying for men isn't a bad thing, but it can be. You're in Denmark, so I don't know how familiar you are with our personalities here in the Us, but one sticks out in my mind: Glenn Beck. On several occasions I've heard him sob like a baby on the air (radio), but I still see him as quite a masculine fellow. I personally think much of it has to do how one acts when they aren't crying. Are they overly timid? Back away from any confrontation? There's something to be said of assertive behavior in both males and females; however, males in particular.



Kangoogle
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16 Jan 2009, 11:22 pm

Contrary to popular belief, the girl these days can ask the guy. I get chatted up reasonably often for whatever reason. Either that, or I developed the ability to flirt without realising it. Hmm...



Diamond_Head
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16 Jan 2009, 11:29 pm

Quote:
because that's the way it is, in not just humans, but many other species as well. Women get to do the choosing, to ensure that the species improve, etc.


Best response. From Ceasar to Alexander the Great to Hannibal to Napolean to George Washington to General Patton, the people traditionally thought of as the greatest and most influential human beings in history were generally stoic, confident, determined, charismatic men who were also extremely individualistic. For whatever reason, that's the truth.

Very few people are this way naturally though, which is why the ones that are became so famous. For every one true leader, there are a million followers.



TheMidnightJudge
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16 Jan 2009, 11:54 pm

It's called a steriotype. There are girls who don't buy into that stuff so much. But the fact is a lot of it is based on instincts.
It bothers me too.


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sunshower
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17 Jan 2009, 1:07 am

Yeah it's pretty stupid. But I can understand people liking strong, confident, self assured people. I personally prefer guys like this, although with an emotional side too, of course, because I am a strong, confident type personality myself.

About the crying thing, that's just ridiculous, crying (unless it's over silly trivial things in an attempt to gain attention or sympathy) does not make a person weak.


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17 Jan 2009, 1:34 am

That's an old rule. Women can ask men out too.



irikarah
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17 Jan 2009, 5:45 am

It's stereotyping to say men are necessarily expected to, but only twice have girls approached me. One was a random girl at the mall who looked half my age, the other was a girl who left a note on the door of my friend's house and asked me to drop by some time.

Then again, I've only ever approached a girl, with the intention of getting her number or going on a date, once. The sole reason I even managed that was because she apparently knew me in High School and thought I was cute. She also turned out to be a horrible girlfriend that I had nothing in common with except like Aeon Flux (the animated series, not the movie).

For the most part, every girlfriend I've had is a friend that turned into something more. Randomly approaching people just always felt wrong to me, so maybe a lot of women feel similarly?



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17 Jan 2009, 10:18 am

I don't believe it's biology, I'd have to be convinced of that. But never mind what caused this to be the case, looking at things now it's quite convenient for many if not women that they can go about their daily business and look good and relationships will eventually just happen. I can understand why people wouldn't want to give up that luxury.



gina-ghettoprincess
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17 Jan 2009, 10:24 am

Girls do ask guys out these days. Either that or people just get their mates to ask people out on their behalf, which is pathetic if you ask me.


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Hector
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17 Jan 2009, 12:03 pm

As far as my country goes I've never heard of an Irish girl asking a guy out. It may happen, but if so it's very rare



LePetitPrince
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17 Jan 2009, 12:12 pm

Hector wrote:
As far as my country goes I've never heard of an Irish girl asking a guy out. It may happen, but if so it's very rare


It's so rare everywhere , but on forums ...you often see female users denying this obvious fact by saying :"so many girls ask guys out".


Quote:
I can understand why people wouldn't want to give up that luxury.


Indeed, it's a luxury that makes getting dates easier for girls ....like so many married men who avoid to do housework because it's a luxury for them and don't wish to give it up. easily



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17 Jan 2009, 12:36 pm

The reverse of the stereotype is possible (occasionally.) If one particular woman hadn't approached an ultra-shy introverted man, you'd have one less cybernetic Aspie to worry about... :twisted: