neuro-typical Vs. neuro-Atypical

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RightGalaxy
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18 Jan 2009, 4:34 pm

One can't be right when you look at the whole world as a whole but I don't think that a neurotypical with a neuroAtypical can really work as a relationship. Culture, age, career...so many things factor in. But in general, I think that Typical people want Atypical people for the complacency they give. Because they are not so social (now,this is generally speaking), they are not so tempted by other potential mates. But after a while, the Typicals get bored. They want the loyalty but need the intrigue of the socialite . So they cheat. Think about it? Wouldn't you like a warm cuddly that stays home...you always know where they are...and they are there for you when the socialite throws you out in the cold, dark night. Typicals cheat or they just break it off...the worst ones string you along, meet somebody, break it off, get back with you, meet another one, break it off again, and it goes on and on until the Atypical is in sooo much pain, they scream "ENOUGH!" Somebody like this might even marry you and put you through hell for "years". That's why it's best to try to meet someone like yourself or just stay by yourself...at least you'll be free when someone special comes "your way" for a change.
You not alive to cushion the blows for somebody else. If they (Typicals) can't handle lonliness, it's their problem, not yours. That's what their damned 1,500 friends are for. :roll: Stick together Aspies!! ! 8) But remember: Being Aspie is sort of like say, being a member of a particular culture, where you date only within the culture but pick who is best for you...like Jewish dating...one wishes a relationship with a fellow Jew but doesn't marry the first one that comes along. That's why Aspies have to organize somehow.



Last edited by RightGalaxy on 20 Jan 2009, 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

oli234
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18 Jan 2009, 5:41 pm

Could you be the Moses of aspies set to lead our people to the promised land?

Despite the sarcasm I think you're probably right and a bit more organization would be a good idea.



Tias
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18 Jan 2009, 7:49 pm

why of course.
I don't know a single other aspie in real life and now you say I should only date another aspie.

And I think you generalisized (sp?) NTs and Aspies WAY to much.
Even aspies would cheat, it's not like we are angels.
I have also seen some threads here where a NT is with a AS, and it's the one with AS that causes the problems.

I used to think that other aspies would understand other aspies feelings.
But that's not just that simple.
Being in a relationship, if both partners would lack communication skills, it would end pretty fast. Not saying it's not possible, but there are ups and downs on both sides, I don't see NT or another Aspie being better than the other.

I think you should just be open to the thing with love, and see who you eventualy have feelings for, and go for that person



RightGalaxy
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18 Jan 2009, 8:21 pm

oli234 wrote:
Could you be the Moses of aspies set to lead our people to the promised land?

Despite the sarcasm I think you're probably right and a bit more organization would be a good idea.


I really enjoyed the Moses of aspies! I never laughed so much in all my 48 years on this planet. Don't worry about the sarcasm. People should speak their mind. I certainly did.
I not concerned about organization. This is fun time for me. I'm not writing a term paper or manuscript. So, lighten up. 8)



RightGalaxy
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18 Jan 2009, 8:23 pm

Tias wrote:
why of course.
I don't know a single other aspie in real life and now you say I should only date another aspie.

And I think you generalisized (sp?) NTs and Aspies WAY to much.
Even aspies would cheat, it's not like we are angels.
I have also seen some threads here where a NT is with a AS, and it's the one with AS that causes the problems.

I used to think that other aspies would understand other aspies feelings.
But that's not just that simple.
Being in a relationship, if both partners would lack communication skills, it would end pretty fast. Not saying it's not possible, but there are ups and downs on both sides, I don't see NT or another Aspie being better than the other.

I think you should just be open to the thing with love, and see who you eventualy have feelings for, and go for that person


Well, maybe it's different in .......Denmark. :roll: Look if an AS is with an NT and is causing problems, it's because they don't belong together. Nobody can make you date who you don't want to date. Please read what I wrote very carefully.



Last edited by RightGalaxy on 19 Jan 2009, 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tias
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18 Jan 2009, 8:33 pm

Eeer, no.

What you are saying is the same as whites should only date whites and blacks should only date blacks.
People date whomever they have feelings for.
Don't give me that hippie thing with we should should stick together and only date people like our selves.



t0
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18 Jan 2009, 8:39 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
One can't be right when you look at the whole world as a whole but I don't think that a neurotypical with a neuroAtypical can really work as a relationship.


Anything scientific or just basing this off your observations?

Quote:
Culture, age, career...so many things factor in.


So many things that aren't present in an NT/NT relationship? Or AS/AS relationship? Any concrete examples of unique things that "factor in" only to an NT/AS relationship?

Quote:
Because they are not so social (now,this is generally speaking), they are not so tempted by other potential mates.


I would suspect this to be true, but this has nothing to do with AS. Many NT introverts are not "so social" and they would substitute for AS in this case.

Quote:
Being Aspie is sort of like say, being a member of a particular culture, where you date only within the culture but pick who is best for you...like Jewish dating...one wishes a relationship with a fellow Jew but doesn't marry the first one that comes along.


You're completely wrong here. You're trying to say that all AS are alike - moreso than not anyway. Not all AS are alike. We're on a spectrum.

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That's why Aspies have to organize somehow. We have to get out there and herd together our people...even if you have to use one of those sticks with the loop at the end of it for the more stubborn ones.


I'll think for myself, thanks.



oli234
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19 Jan 2009, 4:58 am

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I not concerned about organization. This is fun time for me. I'm not writing a term paper or manuscript. So, lighten up. Cool


I meant organized in terms of support groups and meeting other aspies in you're area, I couldn't (without being a complete hypocrite) tell someone else to be more organized.



RightGalaxy
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19 Jan 2009, 8:55 am

t0 wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
One can't be right when you look at the whole world as a whole but I don't think that a neurotypical with a neuroAtypical can really work as a relationship.


Anything scientific or just basing this off your observations?

Quote:
Culture, age, career...so many things factor in.


So many things that aren't present in an NT/NT relationship? Or AS/AS relationship? Any concrete examples of unique things that "factor in" only to an NT/AS relationship?

Quote:
Because they are not so social (now,this is generally speaking), they are not so tempted by other potential mates.


I would suspect this to be true, but this has nothing to do with AS. Many NT introverts are not "so social" and they would substitute for AS in this case.

Quote:
Being Aspie is sort of like say, being a member of a particular culture, where you date only within the culture but pick who is best for you...like Jewish dating...one wishes a relationship with a fellow Jew but doesn't marry the first one that comes along.


You're completely wrong here. You're trying to say that all AS are alike - moreso than not anyway. Not all AS are alike. We're on a spectrum.

Quote:
That's why Aspies have to organize somehow. We have to get out there and herd together our people...even if you have to use one of those sticks with the loop at the end of it for the more stubborn ones.


I'll think for myself, thanks.


Shadap! Nobody's telling you how to think...I just expressed an opinion. I "thought" at least on "this" website, I could say what I personally felt without any choke-holds. On a spectrum huh? Well, I still say herd 'em together and then pair 'em off accordingly. Sometimes an NT introvert is an undiagnosed AS. You become an AS when the label is professionally stuck to you. Opposites attract but they don't indure.



Last edited by RightGalaxy on 19 Jan 2009, 9:22 am, edited 2 times in total.

RightGalaxy
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19 Jan 2009, 9:05 am

Tias wrote:
Eeer, no.

What you are saying is the same as whites should only date whites and blacks should only date blacks.
People date whomever they have feelings for.
Don't give me that hippie thing with we should should stick together and only date people like our selves.


First of all, I'll be the last to say whites should date only whites and blacks should date only blacks. I'm Biracial. Hippies are the last to say that we should date people just like ourselves.
That's too conservative for a hippie. Look, nobody's telling "you" how to live. I just expressed an opinion.



RightGalaxy
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19 Jan 2009, 9:15 am

oli234 wrote:
Quote:
I not concerned about organization. This is fun time for me. I'm not writing a term paper or manuscript. So, lighten up. Cool


I meant organized in terms of support groups and meeting other aspies in you're area, I couldn't (without being a complete hypocrite) tell someone else to be more organized.


That you for that. That was really nice of you. :oops: :wink:



Jwa
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20 Jan 2009, 6:13 pm

Tias wrote:
why of course.
I don't know a single other aspie in real life and now you say I should only date another aspie.

And I think you generalisized (sp?) NTs and Aspies WAY to much.
Even aspies would cheat, it's not like we are angels.

Very true! Though I am an angel! :)
Tias wrote:
I have also seen some threads here where a NT is with a AS, and it's the one with AS that causes the problems.

I used to think that other aspies would understand other aspies feelings.
But that's not just that simple.
Being in a relationship, if both partners would lack communication skills, it would end pretty fast. Not saying it's not possible, but there are ups and downs on both sides, I don't see NT or another Aspie being better than the other.

I think you should just be open to the thing with love, and see who you eventualy have feelings for, and go for that person

You are spot on! A lot of problems in relationships exist whether they are NT/NT, NT/AS or AS/AS relationships - as these problems are inherent to two human beings trying to accommodate each other’s individuality.



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20 Jan 2009, 6:42 pm

Excuse my aspie-ness but I can't tell if this is a joke or not.

This generalization is too broad for me to elaborate however I could see some significance in why an aspie would probably fair better with an NT since NTs are "supposedly" more outgoing and better social skills. Even then, it would depend on that NT on what they found attractive about that aspie.

On the whole however, I don't think relationships work as perfectly as they "should".


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TheEvolutionOfLife
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25 Jan 2009, 5:09 am

Never trust an NT though, even if they are nice.


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odd
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25 Jan 2009, 7:20 am

:wink:



Last edited by odd on 25 Jan 2009, 10:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tim_Tex
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25 Jan 2009, 9:59 am

I agree with the OP 100%.