depression again and no help in sight!

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ghatti
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15 Dec 2005, 3:53 pm

I am so frustrated. I see my 9 yr old daughter becoming depressed again and no one will help because my husband makes too much money. Insurance won't cover a counselor for her and Medicaid feels we make too much money and she isn't severely handicapped enough to meet the requirements for the loophole program. I don't want her getting clinically depressed before someone will help her.

I have done everything I can from my end. She needs someone to talk to. She doesn't understand boards and IM for online help. She needs a real person to talk with besides me. I have had her on a waiting list for a Big Sister for over a year. I have tried MH/MR but won't get help because I can't get Medicaid. There are no area support groups I can find. School won't help because she is holding herself together out of necessity in school.

Every day she is asking to be homeschooled again. There is only a handful of kids causing her problems. But she can't seem to get that she has friends and that she needs to let go of what these kids say. She is having a hard time with the routine at school and they expect her to do things that she just can never seem to remember. Like what day library day is or putting her homework in the bin every morning. She has problems with knowing when it is ok to get out of her seat. Like she can get up and sharpen a pencil. She will sit there and not do her work because she isn't sure she is allowed to get up and sharpen the pencil and is too embarrassed to ask.

One little thing ruins the whole day for her. Her self help skills are lacking but no one will do anything to help her develope better self help skills either.

every morning she complains of a stomache ache now. It is a very real feeling to her, she isn't faking. I know it is from the anxiety of facing the day but I just don't know what else to do to help her.

Please, someone help me to help her!

Kelly



pooftis
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15 Dec 2005, 10:44 pm

I am so sorry for you and her in this situation, there is no easy answer. I did this as a kid, my mom kept having to switch me schools because I wouldn't go to one anymore when it got too bad. (14 elementary schools later, lol)

First, does the school have a councelor? If so, make sure they aren't some reject Psych. hack who needed a job, make sure they are geniunely qualified and caring, perhaps they could talk to her.

Another idea that springs to mind, does your medical insurance cover mental health in anyway? I know most do to some extent but it is often in the fine print. WOuld be worth looking at for her.
One other thing I thought of, this helped me as a child when therapists didn't. Is there something she loves? I mean really loves. I am an animal freak, it is an obsession. My mom arranged for the local nature center to let me volunteer, it gave me a place that wasfor me. Perhaps she could find her place that she would feel better at?


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ster
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16 Dec 2005, 6:34 am

please, try to find some way that you can get her to a counselor before things get worse. it is so hard to climb out of depression once you sink very low. I could see the signs of my son becoming depressed, but we weren't able to secure a counselor until he talked about commiting suicide to his camp counselor.............alot of counseling centers accept clients on a sliding scale fee ( you pay a reduced amt. if you have a lower income).



ghatti
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16 Dec 2005, 9:20 am

Thank You for the volunteering idea. She does love animals. Maybe I can find something for her at the Environmental Center?

I am having a hard time finding anyone who will work with us because of not having Medicaid. My insurance has some mental health coverage but it is very limited and very few participating doctors around us. I am having difficulty finding someone accepting new patients with our insurance. Also the co pay is a problem. We already are having trouble with the copays for the OT and the ST.

We are facing that I may have to go back to work just to pay for her therapies. But the reason I stopped working is that she didn't handle me going to work. We had terrible tantrums and everytime I left she begged me to stay. I sell Tupperware but since we moved I haven't been able to build back up. I am worried if I go back to work I will stress her further.

Kelly



06xrs
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16 Dec 2005, 12:03 pm

We're kind of in the same boat. We can only afford the co-pay for 1 therapist at a time. So we had to drop OT for ST, but we figured we had learned enough about her needs that we could do some OT ourselves. Now she's getting ready to start school (she's 4 1/2) so we've had to drop ST to pay for an Asperger's consultant who is going to help us get her ready for school (her psych. wasn't helping at all. He just wanted us to turn her over to the mercies of the public school system.)
Have you considered home schooling? That is our backup plan if regular school doesn't work out, and my mom says if she had it to do over again she would have homeschooled me. The only thing you really get out of regular school is more social interaction which most Aspies would rather do without anyway.
Are you in the US? It sounds like a lot of her trouble with classroom behavior and procedures could be addressed through an IEP.



ghatti
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16 Dec 2005, 1:28 pm

We homeschooled last year because they would rather have let her be put in remedial classes rather than spend some extra time on a few concepts. (Long story) And the school was not accepting of her or willing to help.

The problem we ran into last year though was that she did not deal well with her brother and sister,. She couldn't handle the noise, TV in the background, kids playing, baby crying, while she tried to do work. Academically she was excelling but she was struggling more socially. She missed friends and had difficulty making friends with people she didn't see on a daily basis.

This year we are in a new school district. It is 4 boys in the class picking on her. Mainly 1, the other 3 it is occaisional picking.

We are still struggling to get the OT and ST and have them be appropriate. Therefore we haven't dropped the private therapy yet. The school doesn't see the behavior issues. She tends to internalize and let it all out at home. Also the teacher is trying to push her to be more independant in her self help skills so Maggie is less trusting of her now. The school councelor just doesn't get it.

I am in PA. does anyone know of any organizations that might help?



06xrs
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16 Dec 2005, 2:25 pm

Sounds like you need an IEP meeting. The school has to provide "appropriate" education for her, which in actuality means they have to do whatever you professionals such as the OT and ST say she needs. For one thing she can be placed in another class from these boys. One parent I heard about had the teacher rearrange the class so that the child in question wasn't next to the ones giving him trouble, but did it in such a way that the child wasn't singled out.
I'll post again when I get home from work. I have some resources there about various advocacy groups that will help you fight with the school over the IEP.
On the homeschool subject, one of the things our Asperger's consultant does is come to your house and help you figure out how to do stuff. Like where and when to do homeschool/homework. I'll ask her if she has any contacts or resources in PA.



06xrs
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16 Dec 2005, 2:55 pm

Found this doing a google search for "aspergers iep pennsylvania":

http://www.ascendgroup.org/Resources.html



joku_muko
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16 Dec 2005, 5:50 pm

Call your county's mental health office.



muppypud
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18 Dec 2005, 9:19 pm

My 12 yo was dx'd a few years ago with Aspergers. Last year got so bad that I am now homeschooling him this year.
One suggestion that may help though is to contact the psychology department of the closest university and see what services they offer.
I say this because I found the best Aspergers consultant/expert there, and now my son is a part of a social skills class she runs with the help of her students. The cost for these classes is minimal and I can't even begin to tell you how much these classes has changed our lives.
Depending on where in PA you live, there should be one of several good universities within driving distance. Even if they don't have a program there, chances are they may be able to give you some direction.
I hope this helps.
Virginia



MsDenver1
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19 Dec 2005, 1:42 am

There is a place in Denver, associated with one of the university health centers, called JFK Partners. Website jfkpartners.org . They have social skills classes for AS youth and I think their classes are inexpensive because they are part of an ongoing psychology study program. If you contact them, they might know of their counterpart in your geographic area.


JFK Partners
University of Colorado Health Sciences Center
4200 E. 9th Avenue, C221
Denver, CO 80262
303-315-6511