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ke7dbx
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21 Jan 2009, 2:37 am

Just wondering, I am 29 never had a girl friend. How many are like me in this? Older and never had a serous and strong relationship with a girl. I just feel kinda frustrated with this issue. When I say this to others. I get pity but not much else.


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sgrannel
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21 Jan 2009, 3:04 am

33 and same, don't want pity either.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp1987789 ... t=#1987789


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Boutique
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21 Jan 2009, 5:04 am

How much do you guys 'put yourselves out there' and persue relationships with girls that interest you? I know, it can be very difficult and scary, and you may have to face rejection. But the more you're brave and bold and ask for what you really want, the better your chances are.

I can say this without being hypocritical because I myself have been very bold lately even though it scares me a lot. :)



tomamil
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21 Jan 2009, 5:27 am

Boutique wrote:
How much do you guys 'put yourselves out there' and persue relationships with girls that interest you? I know, it can be very difficult and scary, and you may have to face rejection. But the more you're brave and bold and ask for what you really want, the better your chances are.

i know :(

i am 29 and never been in any relationship. maybe i should try harder, it was just easier.


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Legato
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21 Jan 2009, 6:40 am

I remember the good old days when my friends used to just set me up with random girls while we hung out casually in groups.

Nowadays I gotta be all personal and one-on-one, and do everything myself. It's a b***h, but you gotta do it.



JerryHatake
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21 Jan 2009, 7:04 am

Cheer up guys! Everyone has a special one out there for them. It might be awhile till you find her but its destiny's duty to lead you to her. As long you believe in yourself and your skills, you will find her at the end of your journey.


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ToadOfSteel
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21 Jan 2009, 8:31 am

JerryHatake wrote:
Cheer up guys! Everyone has a special one out there for them. It might be awhile till you find her but its destiny's duty to lead you to her. As long you believe in yourself and your skills, you will find her at the end of your journey.


Says the guy who already found someone...

In my book, that's the textbook case of patronization...



JerryHatake
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21 Jan 2009, 8:49 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
JerryHatake wrote:
Cheer up guys! Everyone has a special one out there for them. It might be awhile till you find her but its destiny's duty to lead you to her. As long you believe in yourself and your skills, you will find her at the end of your journey.


Says the guy who already found someone...

In my book, that's the textbook case of patronization...


Actually I'm single though I'm taking my time with a friend of mine at the moment. Patience is something important when finsding love. For me, the friendship with my friend is more important at this time till the time is right basically.


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saintetienne
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21 Jan 2009, 9:01 am

i got mine aged 31. I think i was just very lucky.



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21 Jan 2009, 11:03 am

A lot of us are in the same boat. I've never had a girlfriend either and I'm 20(I know that's not so old) still, I wouldn't be surprised if I never had one. I just don't have what it takes.



JerryHatake
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21 Jan 2009, 2:45 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
A lot of us are in the same boat. I've never had a girlfriend either and I'm 20(I know that's not so old) still, I wouldn't be surprised if I never had one. I just don't have what it takes.


Nonsense (Not to be offensive)

Everyone has what it takes to get their soulmate. Its just take time and patience sometimes to find the right girl.


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Bataar
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21 Jan 2009, 5:54 pm

Boutique wrote:
How much do you guys 'put yourselves out there' and persue relationships with girls that interest you? I know, it can be very difficult and scary, and you may have to face rejection. But the more you're brave and bold and ask for what you really want, the better your chances are.

I can say this without being hypocritical because I myself have been very bold lately even though it scares me a lot. :)

Unfortunately, I don't know any girls that interest me.



Boutique
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21 Jan 2009, 5:57 pm

Bataar wrote:
Boutique wrote:
How much do you guys 'put yourselves out there' and persue relationships with girls that interest you? I know, it can be very difficult and scary, and you may have to face rejection. But the more you're brave and bold and ask for what you really want, the better your chances are.

I can say this without being hypocritical because I myself have been very bold lately even though it scares me a lot. :)

Unfortunately, I don't know any girls that interest me.


Yeah, girls can be rather lame. LOL



ojd85
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21 Jan 2009, 6:00 pm

Agreed. It may take a lifetime for us to find the perfect partner. We may meet tomorrow or even in the retirement home at the age of 80. Most aspergians seem to be late bloomers in life. I wasn't even interested in the opposite sex until 21 and it's only in the last twelve months or so that I have wanted a first relationship. Thank goodness I skipped out all the teenage romance stage... even at 17 my imagination would be an adult life spent with cats and dogs...
For myself it is the fear of rejection which is putting off the whole idea of meeting offline and being very direct about it. Perhaps it was my childhood background which can be detailed in another post one day. That plus an aversion to the whole bar and club scene due to my sensory issues - just hate the loud 'music' played in such places, surely a way to make people even more stupid!
My tip - just don't listen to any cliched advice from neurotypicals... if I had a pound/euro/dollar/yen/other currency (delete according to your location) for every time I have listened to such things then I would be very rich! Just be yourself and if you are really that desperate then you can always meet online, think that might work better for most people.



Boutique
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21 Jan 2009, 6:15 pm

ojd85 wrote:
Just be yourself and if you are really that desperate then you can always meet online, think that might work better for most people.


That's the way I have to do it, for darn sure. The best way for me to speak is with a keyboard in front of me so that I can spend as much time as I need to trying to put the right words together, proofread what I'm trying to say several times before hitting Submit, and then I can sometimes even go back and edit what I said if it still isn't right. That doesn't work with face-to-face or phone conversations in real time.

There is this amazing guy that I just "have" to meet in person, but when that time comes, there will have already been at least a year of online history to help with the face-to-face part. 8)



Bataar
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21 Jan 2009, 7:31 pm

Boutique wrote:
Bataar wrote:
Boutique wrote:
How much do you guys 'put yourselves out there' and persue relationships with girls that interest you? I know, it can be very difficult and scary, and you may have to face rejection. But the more you're brave and bold and ask for what you really want, the better your chances are.

I can say this without being hypocritical because I myself have been very bold lately even though it scares me a lot. :)

Unfortunately, I don't know any girls that interest me.


Yeah, girls can be rather lame. LOL
It's not that, it's like I said, I don't know any that interest me. There are no girls I'm interested in at work. In fact, there are no females there at all. At the various board game groups I go to, only guys ever show up. Same with my fishing club, fishing trips, movies, martial arts, etc. Other than family members, there is not a single female's phone number or email address in my contacts list. It's hard to pursue someone when there's no one to pursue.