what happen to older aspies?

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Do they grow out of their symptoms,does the symptoms lessen to such extent that they appear normal (just a lil mody)?

No, eventually they finally figure out that they don't belong, and end it all. Or, they go on SSD. Third option, they fight it, and get/keep a job until they die. Some of the lucky ones figure out relationships, and live happily ever after.(sarcasm)

we grow old and die... never really having been quite understood by those around us........

some of us end up posting on WP...briefly.....only to lose heart and interest, because every thread is turned into a circus by the slap and tickle set.......

Good question.

I think most older Aspies probably end making peace with themselves for their AS traits, having at least a couple people to relate to on a regular basis, usually immediate family. They eventually learn what not to say to people in order to avoid conflict and rubbing people the wrong way. They have a sense of missing out on things that others find much easier to do, such as a career, material gain, friends, etc. They indulge in their special interests with gusto.

Others less fortunate who had little or no emotional support in childhood or were abused by parents for their AS, like me, end up hated by everyone and alone, with serious money struggles and gun-shy of people.

A few lucky ones, who had emotional support in childhood as well as some Aspie talent above NT level, end enjoying solitude and the fruit of their labor, possibly with quite a few connections, because they're considered winners by NTs even if "a bit eccentric".

Worst case scenarios, Aspies with no skills or support of any kind, end up in institutions or on welfare, alone and forgotten, pitied by all, seen as odd, ret*d loners.

This is just my assumption, partly from reading on these forums.

Looking forward to others' replies.

They die, just like everyone else (with an unspecified portion dying before "old", just like everyone else).

...someone is diagnosed. I would submit that the vast majority of those with Asperger's never get diagnosed, and by extention, the ways and means to get therapy or treatment.

I say this because I didn't find out that I had Aspergers until just last year, soon after my 40th birthday. If my information is correct, the very term "Asperger's Syndrome" wasn't even in use until the 1980s - a very dark period for me socially and academically - and not considered an official diagnosis, until the 90s, when I was in college. I sometimes wonder how different my schooling and social development would have been had the awareness, diagnosis, and treatment for it existed when I was in my formative years. But that was decades ago.

I can certainly empathize with what Greentea is saying about adaptation and relating to people - as I've had the exact same issues. It was always the subtle social cues that people take for granted that I would miss, that would always get me in trouble. And while I was certainly fortunate to have had loving parents, again, I grew up in an era when awareness of the syndrome was just beginning to be raised - so exhibiting the telltale traits of Aspergers would often get me trouble with my folks, as well.

So I have accepted for many years that my mental rhythms are somewhat out of sync with the rest of "normal" society. I accept that others will have their own judgements of that - and it's their judgements, not mine.

Besides, different rhythms keep things interesting. Jazzy. Funky.

What I have found is that my ability to compensate for my symptoms has really improved. It also helps that there are 6 hours of support groups here where I live that I'm going to go to, and I spent 3 years going to an aspie support group where I lived before and I picked up a lot of social skills.

Yes, I'm on SSDI but the quality of my life has drastically improved.

For me it got much easier, even though I wasn't diagnosed til a month ago (I'm 39). At school and college I was driven so much by other people's ideas of what was appropriate and normal. When you've older you can choose your own environment to a much greater extent and that makes all the difference. All my symptoms are much less obvious when I'm not continually stressed.

I've only been on Wrong Planet two weeks but I've noticed it's the young people who seem to be having a really hard time. They spend all their time in crowded schools and colleges and I'm so happy not to have to do that anymore. I used to spend half an hour in the morning imagining being beaten to a pulp, just to work as much adrenalin as possible out of my system so as to be able to appear calm, if not normal.

I remember being nagged, ordered about, despised, pointedly ignored and told repeatedly that I had nothing to expect but failure. I'm glad you asked this question because I think if I could have seen myself now it would have helped me a lot in my teens and twenties. People pushing me to get over myself was never any help at all but if you make it your decision to push a little out of your comfort zone, you can make your life a lot better.

Remember that not only do NTs understand us a bit better these days (at least the open minded ones) but we have much more understanding and contact with each other. If there'd been even one adult like me that I had known of as a child it might have made all the difference to my hopes for the future.

God I must sound like a pompous git. Lecture over. But I'm going to post this anyway.

I got older before I knew I was an Aspie - but I'd have to say that most of the traits I grew up with are still with me to some extent. Some things have changed a bit - stimming has become a daily workout at the gym (unless I'm really stressed-out - then I might stim at work), eye contact has become much easier - and I haven't had a meltdown in a dozen years. Social interaction has never become easy for me.

I'd have to say that lots of people view me as "normal" - others who spend more time with me probably see me as "quirky," or "odd" - and I still don't have any close friends.

Some times in my life have been better/worse - we'll have to see what the future holds for me, now that I know about AS.

I don't know. In my case, so far, I'd say most of my "symptoms" have actually gotten stronger/"worst". To the point I was wondering if my subconscious (or whatever) were making me exaggerate things. Then a while back I read this, and I feel lots less crazy. Yay internetz. The end.

Aspergers never goes away, but as a person ages, hopefully they learn to accept themselves for who they are. Regardless of whether they are on the spectrum or not, it is hard to imagine anyone experiencing happiness unless they are at peace with their faults. This I submit the real difference between the old and the young. After endless futile revolutions of seeking happiness from others, those who do grow up understand that their satisfaction in life must come from within. In this regard, older Aspies have it easier because we have the courage to be by ourselves and to do our own thing. But the question of making a living looms large and even those who embrace poverty must still have money to buy food.

I hope to eventually succeed in every area I'm interested in, realize all my dreams, become popular and well-known and have good friends, have a successful relationship and kids/whatever feels right to me, and be full of life and the glow of achievement.

I don't want to know the truth...

We study computers and they stick us in the basement of some organization and we keep the network going. The basement is a safe place, we can deal with the computer systems and only deal with people when absolutely necessary.

At least that is how I ended up. I'm 50.

We can overcome many symptoms if we have to. Any problem can be endured for a short period of time. I can force myself to make eye contact, I can force myself to show up for the organizational "meet & greet" parties (standing with my back to a wall in a lower traffic area helps).

Sure, I come across as a bit odd with a weird set of special interests, which I can talk about at length should anyone ask. However, I can suppress my desire to spout off as well.

I think I learned compensations pretty well starting in adolescence. I lost a lot of them at 40 (stroke due to brain aneurysm), so I am starting over, selectively trying to recreate them. I'm a bit more arrogant now, so I don't feel all my former ones are necessary. Maybe I do seem like a cranky old broad.

I really do worry about what happens if I outlive my family. With my issues about crowds and noise, I find myself sizing up the places where my relatives with dementia live, and I develop a feeling of dread. I'm a very outdoorsy person and can't imagine spending my last days in old folks' jail. Perhaps I'll just wander into the woods and let the mountain lion take care of me...

Becoming who you are--and more topic

Greentea already said it. I was diagnosed with AS nine years ago this month and it was a step in the right direction. Like many people in my fifties, I am coming to terms with all aspects of self and wanting to leave a personal legacy.

It is my belief that life is a search for meaning--and ideally you find it long before the end in order to enjoy it, and discover even more.

i do not know what happens to AS people that are older than me.
i do not know what happens to the ones younger than me, and i do not know what happens to those of my own age.

in my case i have had 36 years of consciousness and i have become tired and jaded about the people in the world.

i will inevitably become a recluse. the subject of the song by the beatles called "the fool on the hill" is what i think i will eventually be like.

at 2 mins 45 secs he tries to add some spontaneous musical expressions and directions and it fails miserably after that, but pre 2:45 it is very good. it is crap after 2:45 i think.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hlw_9ldThs[/youtube]