your normal!!

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Do people, family members, friends etc tell you you dont have asperger's? someone with a big influence in my life is telling me i dont and as she is older i naturally want to believe her. Anyone else get told they're not?

My mother and father not only think I have AS; they joke about having it, too. ((They're both very, very introverted, and have other aspects of it, too. I don't think either geniunely believe themselves to be Aspies, but they're comfortable enough to joke about it.))

^ ditto, I wish they would just accept it.

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Yes, but it's not because I don't, ite because they just don't want to accept it.

Someone told me that It was all in my head. Naturally, I dumped the guy soon after, and don't talk to him anymore.

People don't say that I'm normal or that I'm wierd. The only words that I ever hear myself described as is Quiet or Reserved.

there have been two people that have suggested that my difficulties are not due to AS. one person was someone who's opinion i respected so i was really hurt by what he said, especially since he knew a lot about the AS-related difficulties i had experienced. although he didn't actually say it, it felt like he was agreeing with all the people who have called me weird, crazy or stupid throughout my life.

with the other person, i did kind of deserve it because i was using my disorder as an excuse. what happened was, this man was trying to convince me to be his girlfriend but rather than say "i don't want to be your girlfriend because i don't find you attractive," i said "i probably wouldn't make a very good girlfriend because i have an ASD."

all the other people i have mentioned AS to have found it a helpful explanation for understanding my behaviour and communicating with me.

autism is such a huge subject that i really can't be bothered to explain it to every single person who asks me why i don't talk much, etc. most people are satisfied if i tell them that i'm "just shy." if someone persists in questioning me about their observations of me i will tell them about my disorder, rather than have them think that i am intentionally being rude.

yes, lots of NTs tell me I'm normal, I look normal, I act normal, I talk normal, etc. etc. but, behind my back, they tell each other that I'm weird and odd! (I am quite obviously autistic, I don't even try to act normal, and have great difficulty talking)

grrr... i really don't like to say things that are anti-NT, but sometimes they just do stuff that makes themselves unlikeable

you quoted me out of context so I'm requoting myself in full

DivaD wrote:

yes, lots of NTs tell me I'm normal, I look normal, I act normal, I talk normal, etc. etc. but, behind my back, they tell each other that I'm weird and odd! (I am quite obviously autistic, I don't even try to act normal, and have great difficulty talking)
grrr... i really don't like to say things that are anti-NT, but sometimes they just do stuff that makes themselves unlikeable

Everyone does. That's not exclusively an NT thing.

People who don't really know me think I'm perfectly normal but a little geeky. I haven't told them I have AS because I doubt they'd believe it.

The few people who really do know me well knew I'm different before I knew about AS and before I ever told them. My best friend always said I'm like a super-intelligent space alien who's trying to blend in with humans, but isn't quite able to pull it off. Pretty accurate description.

When I told the people who know me well about AS and showed them a list of symptoms, their reaction was "Wow.. It all makes sense now."

The only people I've told are a couple of friends and my mother. My friends seem to be very receptive about the whole thing. One of them is every extroverted yet accepting of new ideas since she's so used to encountering different cultures being that she lived in South America for a year, is bi-lingual and loves exotic dishes, alternative ideas and isn't part of the mass cultured sheeple. She's accepted my traits, my quarks and finds it especially amusing my tendancy to be very literal. It goes without saying I wish all NTs were as cool as she is.

My mother wasn't a bit surprised when I told her about AS. She has many aspie traits herself and so do most members of our immediate and extended family. She always knew she never functioned like everyone else in terms of learning and social style and found it a struggle in school. Though she didn't know the reason, she always suspected some type of learning disability or different "whiring". My telling her about AS gave her insight about my problems growing up, her struggles and why mental illnesses and developmental disorders run in our family.

My grandmother? I don't know if it would even be a good idea to tell her. She's in her late 60s and may not understand how a person who can function close to normal can be autistic. Her generation, as most black people do, chalk pecurliarities up as something you got from your mother's side of the family or "Uncle Darrel acts like that. Cousin Angela gets scared of strange things, too. It runs in the family." Which is true but they're sceptical about putting labels on strange behavior because to them, if everyone in the family acts this way, then it's just another difference, not something to be scared of or correct into being "normal".

If the person has grown up without a diagnosis,their parents might think it would have been found out as a young child,and as it wasn't,it doesn't exist (to them),they have only ever known their child as a child,
rather than a child who happens to have difficulties.
The parents might not want to accept it,because they would think they are failiures for not knowing sooner.

My parents were completely ignorant that I was Autistic,even though they were often trying to get me put in a childrens home from toddler age till before I was 16 because they couldn't cope with me (and then 16+,attempted to throw me out and threats),when I was diagnosed,I bought Luke Jacksons' book,but that made my mum think I wasn't Autistic at all,because he was highly intelligent and successful with his life,whereas i'm not.


Get an appointment with a pysch. and if they give an ASD diagnosis,ask them to explain it to the parents.
They would probably believe a professional.