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open and supportive and not accusing

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hybrid
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 3 Sep 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 77

19 Dec 2005, 8:47 pm

In the following quote from article36 from the main page:

Quote:
5. The All-Around Unpleasant Coworker – While some individuals in the office cause problems without being blatantly offensive, this individual is downright nasty. He or she is rude, arrogant, condescending, and just not enjoyable to be around. There are a couple of tips for dealing with this coworker. The first is realizing that you never know the whole story. This person might have something going on in his or her life that is causing the negativity. Try having an open conversation – privately, of course – to discuss the interactions between the two of you, but be careful about how you approach the conversation. You want to be seen as supportive and open, rather than accusing. Next, talk to your manager or human resources rep about the situation. It never hurts to document issues, and you may be able to decrease the amount of interaction you have with this individual.


They say: "You want to be seen as supportive and open, rather than accusing.".

But how to do that? What do you say or do to seem supportive and open, and not accusing?



HisGirl
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 5 Dec 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 27

20 Dec 2005, 2:20 pm

"Be supportive and open" means to approach the co-worker like you would a friend or relative. I would say something to the effect that I'd like to have a small talk when he/she is available. During that talk, I would try to get some information that would help me understand what the person's problem might be. (Is he/she bothered by someone/something in the work environment? Are they feeling well?)

"rather than accusing" means that you don't want to say something like, "Gosh, Bob, you're a real jacka$$. Why don't you just quit it?"


It is said that the best way to go about voicing one's feelings in regard to another person's actions is to avoid starting sentences with, "You always . . ." because that makes the other person defensive. The best way is to express yourself by saying, "I feel ____ when you ____." I would then ask that person how the two of you can work together to correct the situation.