"My journey has just begun" is a motto I picked for myself several days ago. I have this feeling and desire that at 44 years old (my age now and the age at which I was diagnosed) I have a new start on life---one where I finally know myself better.
Life is full of so many ironys. Until last fall, I thought I was intellectually gifted--- I was in the Talented and Gifted in high school years ago. I am even our school's gifted intervention specialist now. How ironic that after getting that job I would be diagnosed as autistic. I found records of my IQ from my old school and it was 111---still good, but not intellectually gifted. But I am gifted---gifted with Asperger's and gifted with a lot of great supportive people here on the WrongPlanet.
I have had a very up and down week this week---mostly down. And it kind of got bad while ago. Thanks to those who helped get me back on my right track. I am doing much better now.
Last night I laid down in bed and began thinking about a thought that had been lingering in my mind---We that are autistic are a rare breed amongst the mainstream of this planet earth. And how strange that we will never be able to think in the same way that the average human being on planet earth thinks. But you know what? The average person on earth also has a similar problem---they can never think in the way that we that are autistic think. And the more I think about this, the more I feel so blessed to have been born autistic. Sure, it has its drawbacks. But so does being neurotypical. But I am glad to be autistic.
My eccentric journeys in childhood, adolescence (wow was that awkward), college, etc. were accompanied by a true friend---autism. It gave me talent to play music by my obsessions with the mechanics of the electronic keyboard. It gave me adventures with roller coasters. It gave me journeys into dark mystical caves. It caused my library to be filled with volumes of fascinating books. It filled my room with magic tricks and illusions. It filled my basement with scores of railroad models, etc. In fact, if autism were taken out of me---I would no longer be glider18 (Tim). I would not have married the wife I have had and loved since 1989. I would not have the two wonderful sons that I have (that may also have AS). And even as my wife and I discussed the other day, we kind of doubt if our oldest son may ever leave home---but that is ok because life's journey is a rich and rewarding experience---and whatever works for him will work for us. The doctors tried to medicate him once and it turned him into an emotional mess. We no longer gave him that medicine. We took it on ourselves to offer him as much help as he needed---even paying for expensive after school tutoring at a specialized learning center.
Love is the miracle medicine. With love, so much can happen. When I feel down, the love offered through the support of our WrongPlanet community is wonderful. And that is why I am sharing now. I believe we all get depressed---and I have been depressed---but now, I am feeling so much better thanks to this community.
And now, I continue my own journey in life---one with a new start. And I hope that each one of us has a path in life to follow. I am happily accepting and embracing my unique "difference" in life---one that has made me who I am today---autism.
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"My journey has just begun."
13 Feb 2009, 9:06 pm
