Asperger's and Being Childfree

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What do you all think of the Childfree philosophy (not desiring children as a matter of choice)?

I have long flirted with it; when I was young I never really had the interest in being a dad, and more recently I was militantly against having kids whatsoever. As of the present, I have softened a bit (I actually am quite willing to adopt if everything falls into place for me), but still am absolutely dead-set against bio parenting, for too many reasons to list.

The way it has been said that some Aspies simply lack an understanding of what sexuality is is what describes my "need" (or lack thereof) to see my genes propagated. It simply is not there in the least (unlike my sex drive, but that's another story).

I suspect strongly that the CF mindset is represented disproportionately within the Aspie population, but can't prove it, so decided to post this poll. I think that since we absorb cultural expectations and norms much less than NTs, it is a lot harder for us to be sold on the "need" to procreate. Think about it; nobody is born knowing where babies come from (or why we should want to have babies)--but we all (or almost all) are born with a sex drive.

What do you all think and say?

Please don't group ALL aspies into this mindset, I really would love to have kids in the future. Whether I can even find a potential companion is a much different story...

I never want to get married or have kids, mainly because I want freedom when I get my own place, it costs too much to run a family and it's far to tiring.

The biggest reason for me, though, is the fact that you can't really run a business and a family, it dosen't work out, and I could have business potential and I'd hate for that to go to waste as I enjoy business and I like making money.

So, basically, having kids would kill my life. I don't want that.

Is any of that influenced by my Asperger's? No idea.

Interesting topic.

Socalaspie said:"
I suspect strongly that the CF mindset is represented disproportionately within the Aspie population..."

I suspect you are right. I was ignorant of the Childfree movement until I read your post. Wikipedia has links to relevant sites.

the idea of having kids doesn't appeal to me.

[quote="socalaspie"]when I was young I never really had the interest in being a dad, and more recently I was militantly against having kids whatsoever. As of the present, I have softened a bit (I actually am quite willing to adopt if everything falls into place for me), but still am absolutely dead-set against bio parenting, for too many reasons to list.
quote]

When I was young I said No way, I'm having kids! but today the only thing stoping me (besides having no partner for this...) is that pregnancy seems to be too much an inconvenience... and it's not like you can say three months in that you've changed your mind about it...

But for a guy, it's easy...
I would prefer being a dad

I do not want children, ever. I like them, but I don't want them.
I am not going to change my mind about this. I do not have a history of changing my mind about important life decisions (or about many things at all, really).

I have one child.
I always pictured myself having a family.
Not a large one.
Just one kid, or maybe perhaps two.

I've never had issues with sexual contact or lack of desire.
I've also never fallen into the biological programming of our culture that we NEED to procreate.
For me, choosing to have a child was just that, a very conscious choice, mindful of all the potential rewards and drawbacks.

My problem in this regard has been all of the social skills involved with forming and sustaining relationships, as well as being a precise, mindful parent.

So to answer your question, I think the "Childfree" philosophy is fine if it works for you. It probably does have a higher representation within the Autsitc community. I personally do not ascribe to it.

I never want to have children. They annoy me greatly. I didn't like kids when I was a kid. I wouldn't be a good mother. I know that. Plus, with my AS and OCD, my child would almost surely have some sort of neuropsychiatric problem, and I wouldn't be able to take care of a neurotypical child, let alone one with special needs. My mother was a real trooper. I can't imagine having had to raise me!
-OddDuckNash99-

I have no love for or wish to have children. They just annoy me.

I love my son, but I know that I'll never be able to be as good of a parent as if I were NT. I'm just missing a lot of key traits that would have made me "motherly". I don't plan on having any more children, and I'll always feel bad for my son that he can't have the kind of mother he deserves.

As far as a desire to have a family and pass on my genes, no, I never felt that.

I have 15 nieces and nephews (and 4 grand nieces and nephews). I am around them often enough not to want my own. I suppose if I was away from them, I would want a child.

I do not ascribe to the Childfree philosophy, obviously; as I have 4 children. If it works for you, then I'm all for it. I don't believe there is a "perfect mother." All the NT parents I've known make mistakes parenting as well. I don't strive to be the best. I strive to do the best I can. They are very different concepts.

I always wanted a large family. I believe I'm perfectly happy with 4, although from an obsessional standpoint the number 7 has been stuck in my head for years. I'm working through it.

In my twenties and early thirties, I had the "baby fever." However, I realized after having a miscarriage that pregnancy makes you MOODY. On top of that, I'd have to go off all my bipolar meds, which would make me VERY MOODY. Also, my chance of having a child on the spectrum is high (have a brother and had a mother on the spectrum) and taking care of myself is a full time job.

So, now I choose to be child-free, although I do love children.