Find Facebook frustrating? Read before commenting

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TheDoctor82
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06 Mar 2009, 12:12 am

I'm on Facebook, and have a lot of my former classmates on there; and no, none of them really liked me back then.

Naturally, most of them are happy to connect with most of their friends from high school that are now on there.

Do any of them care to talk to me, beyond the generic "how are you", to see how things have changed since then, or whatever? Take a guess.

I shouldn't be discouraged by this, I know...but for some reason I am.

They didn't care to know me then, and don't care to know me now.

Anyone else find this frustrating, even though for Aspies, it probably shouldn't be?



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06 Mar 2009, 12:17 am

Well getting in contact with people ye went to school with is like, the main point of Facebook. If you don't like that is there any reason you having a facebook?


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TheDoctor82
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06 Mar 2009, 12:20 am

Prosser wrote:
Well getting in contact with people ye went to school with is like, the main point of Facebook. If you don't like that is there any reason you having a facebook?


Actually, one of my co-workers invited me. I have more than just classmates on there, dude; lots more.



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06 Mar 2009, 12:39 am

Oh, fair do's. Well I haven't been out of school long so I don't really care that none of them facebook people talk to me. I guess if they're not really your friends you shouldn't care. If it helps you could think of it like you don't really care to talk to them... unless you do. Do you?


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TheDoctor82
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06 Mar 2009, 12:44 am

Well the way I see it is this: I know I definitely have no reason to attend my 10th Anniversary reunion.

As I even told my friend Lisa( who was also in my class) "if they won't even talk to me on Facebook, why would I want to fork over $1000 for plane ticket and hotel to get the same effect? They know where to find me..."

The funniest thing is, a "sorta" friend of mine from my grade, that I still sorta talk to a bit here and there..she told me "oh..yah, I don't know if I'm going or not", and all that crap...she's going and she knows it. It seems to be the "in-thing" to tell people you're too cool to attend or something.

They're not.



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06 Mar 2009, 12:57 am

I don't even see the point in school reuions.


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TheDoctor82
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06 Mar 2009, 12:59 am

Prosser wrote:
I don't even see the point in school reuions.


it's just "more of the same" for NTs who still need that comeuppance and crap from seeing people who treated them poorly being fat and overweight or whatever.

Y'know, people say that they change after high school. I don't buy it...I don't buy it because it was their own parents who taught them to act that way since they were in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL...if not before( I even had problems as far back as PRE-SCHOOL, I admit it).

THAT'S the point of school reunions. More lame NT socialization, trying to look cool still, and comeuppance, and all that.

Gee...I'd rather watch a political debate....



KayCe
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06 Mar 2009, 1:10 am

I never had any interest in going to any of the reunions, so I never did.

Once in a while, when I would talk to someone I went to high school with (which didn't happen very often), they would tell me about what went on at the reunions.

Just confirmed that my choice to not go was the right one for me.



TheDoctor82
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06 Mar 2009, 1:16 am

KayCe wrote:
I never had any interest in going to any of the reunions, so I never did.

Once in a while, when I would talk to someone I went to high school with (which didn't happen very often), they would tell me about what went on at the reunions.

Just confirmed that my choice to not go was the right one for me.


My friend Lisa DID try to get me to go to some of the last few Senior social events......and I refused. I regret nothing, btw. :)



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06 Mar 2009, 1:40 am

I've had people, who didn't seem to like me in high school, want to be "friends" with me there. I agree to it, because there's no point in being unfriendly and maybe I misjudged them, or maybe they're just curious, so I let them in. I take a long time to warm up to people, I have a high barrier to formation of friendships, and I can't always tell when people like me. None of the people who were really mean to me have wanted to become "friends" there, though.


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TheDoctor82
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06 Mar 2009, 1:43 am

most of them have added me. My friend just told me "it's Facebook...ya add people". For the most part the majority have either added me, or I've added them; but a few DIDN'T add me.



pensieve
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06 Mar 2009, 1:46 am

My classmates added me, but I don't talk to them. I talk to my current friends and keep in contact with my family.



TheDoctor82
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06 Mar 2009, 1:49 am

pensieve wrote:
My classmates added me, but I don't talk to them. I talk to my current friends and keep in contact with my family.


Yeah, same here...but I don't talk to my family too much; my mom's side likes me...my dad's side not so much.

I also discuss business a lot with people.



dougn
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06 Mar 2009, 2:08 am

I have absolutely no interest in communicating with anyone I knew before university. Nobody in school was my friend anyway.

I have around 280 Facebook friends at this point, after about a year on Facebook. Every one of them is someone I met in a big Facebook group I belong to, or friends from my university, or friends related to my hobby/obsession/special interest. The number of people from the first 19 years of my "real life" is zero. Nobody has sought me out and I don't even think I'd accept their friend requests.



pensieve
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06 Mar 2009, 2:12 am

I just wouldn't let it bother me if my old classmates wouldn't talk to me. I've got a person on FB that hasn't been talking to me. It's a bit complicated. He's in a band and we were going to meet up, so we kept in pretty close contact while he was visiting my country but after we failed to meet up and he left the country he hasn't talked to me since. I try to not let it get to me.



toliman
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06 Mar 2009, 2:46 am

i think i just put my name on social nets so it's taken, i'm not that enthused about it.
i also have the feeling i don't take it as competitively as some others do, i don't look for people i would never speak to, and ask them to call themselves my friend. (there's some exceptions, i just enjoy having felicia day as a friend, even though it's a non-reciprocal friend -- i'm a sucker for smart redheads.)

i have about 20 ppl (high school, university, work colleagues),
my older sister has about 350,
younger stepsister, about 200 or so.
my older stepbrother, who just had a baby girl on tuesday, has about 50 on his page.

as for school contacts, i don't mind not having them in contact, but it's good to know they are still alive or married, divorced, travelling, doing things, etc.
i think it's the people who aren't on there, that worry me a little, since i have the feeling some of them should be online, but they aren't.