Has anybody had friends that ended up being fake?

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altbreg
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08 Mar 2009, 12:24 am

up to 5th grade i've only made only one real friend..then I moved, and 6th grade started, and I got a bad reputation for farting on ppl..people called me gasman, and that was the only way I knew that I could get attention...but after awhile of this I stopped bc my family mentioned it was an embarassement for them

but I made friends around the neighborhood, a good 4 to 5. everything seemed normal like the friendship..and move 9.5 years later, they finally came up and told me that they never liked me, and that I was just a big joke.

and thinking back on everything, my first friend acted the same way these 'friends' did, and I put all these memories together and it was clearer...

so i've never made a real friend, considering my oblivious awarness, you guys think that this could be signs of me having a certain disorder? like autism? I mean come on somebody has to be mentally limited to not figuring out the ppl who you considered friends was actually making fun of you in front of your face for 9 years. And they had to tell me, meaning it would have been longer for me to figure it out myself



Fnord
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08 Mar 2009, 12:27 am

altbreg wrote:
Has anybody had friends that ended up being fake?

All of the time. You'll get used to it after a few decades.

Unfortunately, most were people I had met through one religious organization or another.


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altbreg
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08 Mar 2009, 12:38 am

yeah me having a cleft palate didn't help, the weird thing is they never made fun of my lip/nose, just me



hartzofspace
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08 Mar 2009, 2:23 am

Fnord wrote:
altbreg wrote:
Has anybody had friends that ended up being fake?

All of the time. You'll get used to it after a few decades.

Unfortunately, most were people I had met through one religious organization or another.


Same here. I quit trying to find friends through religious things. They always ended up being phonies. :?


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dadum
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08 Mar 2009, 4:29 am

Yes, I have learned that the hard way over and over again.

Don't forget: people are god damn big liars, no matter how nice they seem.



dadum
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08 Mar 2009, 4:41 am

altbreg wrote:
so i've never made a real friend, considering my oblivious awarness, you guys think that this could be signs of me having a certain disorder? like autism? I mean come on somebody has to be mentally limited to not figuring out the ppl who you considered friends was actually making fun of you in front of your face for 9 years. And they had to tell me, meaning it would have been longer for me to figure it out myself


I don't think they made fun of you for 9 years, much more likely that they are just lying and trying to make fun of you right now.

I don't think wether you have autism/asperger or not would matter, you would still meet liars and hypocrites all the time. However many autism/asperger people tend to be very solitary and trustable, and trusting others too much, so they get more surprised when they found out that some nice person lets you down, and react more.

I have overcome some of that disability by setting my expectations to zero:
ALL people are lying hypocrites, many of them are nice, but they will still lie every now and then, don't be surprised.



altbreg
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09 Mar 2009, 3:18 am

well they sorta did, like I remember moments where they would be laughing at what i'm doing, but I don't have the slightest clue to whats funny about what i'm doing, so I keep doing it


so now I play it safe, and feed people the basics, bc thats all they need to hear



hartzofspace
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09 Mar 2009, 11:21 am

I hate it when people laugh at me and I don't know why. Seems selfish.


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monica25
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10 Mar 2009, 5:13 am

The most recent situation I had was the hardest and most hurtful situation I have gone through with a friend. I had a guy friend I grew up with since I was 7. We got older and he left for college. Then, about 9-10 years after he went away for college, we saw each other again, for the first time. So at that point, are family’s and the two of us had known each other for 17 years. To be honest, from the first time I saw him after 9-10 years I just absolutely adored that man just for who he was, as a person. The only word I can find that truly describes how I felt the moment I saw him and the only word that describes the way I still feel about him is “Unconditional”. He is the first person I have ever had real feeling for in my whole life.

Well, sometime passed and I went to go visit him. I was really excited to visit him because I loved spending time with him. I realized that growing up my friend was the only kid I never thought was different from me but I did not think anything of it. Anyways, when I went and visited him I stayed at his place for a little while. Within the first few days of me visiting him I brought up the fact that the organization and the people who he called friends where being dishonest to him. I tried to tell him all the different ways they where being dishonest but he did not believe one word I said. He got upset with me, said I was not his friend and we do not speak to each other anymore. Everything I was trying to explain to him about the bad situation he was involved in, he was applying and linking everything I was saying directly to me. He did not applying the information I was giving him about the organization and the people to them. He thinks that I am the bad friend and that I was the one who was using him. I have known him for 17 years and are family’s know each other, I bought my own plane ticket and went to visit him. I also really liked him. He mentioned a few times that he had some struggles but he said nothing more then that. I am 99% sure he has AS but that 1% is because of the fact that he has never told me he has AS. He is not in my life anymore and I really do miss him. I have tried to explain what I was trying to say to him but he does not believe me and it just gets worse. I thought he was my friend and liked me but he didn’t believe me. I was the only one telling him the truth. Maybe he didn’t like me because I have PDD-NOS and BP.

I would like to have a friend but I dont know if I will ever find a friend who like me, just for me?



monica25
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10 Mar 2009, 5:27 am

You could ask your family if you might have autism/asperger. Maybe they might know.