My reasons and suspicions

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HI, I don't even know if this is allowed on this part of the forum but I'll ask anyway. I need help determining if I may have AS or not, or maybe if it's even a possibility.

Warning: THIS IS VERY LONG and possibly very boring.

I repeat myself a lot, and it frustrates me when other people do, I am very forgetful though. So I am sorry if I repeat myself in this a lot.

My thoughts run my life. I have an array of thoughts throwing themselves at me and it's just hard to focus on anything else. I spend a lot of time inside my head and daydream constantly.

I've always have peculiar interest. Now, they don't seem in any way weird to me but I always get told I have unhealthy attachments and people give me a 'look'.

It's a look I've come to recognize because it's been pretty much given to me all my life. It's a mixture of disinterest and annoyance and pity.

I talk about music a lot and I try not to because I know that no one really cares and I know this because, well, when someone tells me about something I usually don't care that much either.

I've always been an "I" or "Me" person. But, I love helping people and people love talking to me, which isn't always I good thing and I'm a great listener because I am really good at pretending to care. Believe me I know how horrible that sounds, and it's not something I am particularly proud of.

I easily become obsessed about things, but they all don't last long, some things last months and years other last a few days.

A lot of my times I don't know what to do with myself and I'm just awkward in social situations. So I am very anti-social and keep to my self and my laptop in my room, I don't even like eating, most of the time, in front of people. I really don't like interacting with people my age or any age at all and I don't like touching people. I'm weird about hugs; I give them to my family (if I must) and my baby cousins only.

The touching thing is really unfortunate since I've always had this desire to become a cosmetologist. But the thoughts of having to interact with people daily make me very uncomfortable. It's true that I don't like people outside my family very much, and even my family gets annoying.

I get extremely hostile when I'm interrupted while doing one of my hobbies. And things in my day have to go a certain way or I get really upset.

I've been told I am very cold, rude, negative, and overly sarcastic and think in logic too much. But sometimes I am very emotional. I love to laugh, a lot and get excited easily. I get told that I laugh at inappropriate times.

I've been addicted to caffeine for the past two years as it makes me 'a different person'. I am a lot more expressive and happy but also a lot more anxious when I take it.

I've been told I am very smart but I don't exactly consider myself smart. Bright perhaps but not smart, I tend to do things with out thinking.

I often fall and bump into walls. I've always been a clumsy person, I often feel like parts of my body are missing a certain connection to my brain.

I have been told that I really creative and that I do fairly believe, I spend almost all my time Writing, Drawing, Making things and Learning.

I love teaching myself things but I'm not very good at it. Like the piano, which I started to teach myself about a year ago, I suck epically a reading music but I can mimic tutorials fairly well (with practice).

I don't like watching TV and if I do I usually watch cartoons. I do like watching movies, though. But particularly Disney movies and musicals.

I have a lot of self doubt and I think it has a lot to do with having been (and still being) told that I am too honest and blunt to the point of down right rude. I apologize a lot and most of the time it's not exactly sincere since I have no clue what I'm apologizing for. I do know how to be polite.

I have also been told I am too naive. I don't get that feeling 'everyone's out to screw me over' but I get taken advantage of a lot. Therefore I don't exactly get close to people.

I avoid eye contact a lot of the times when I speak to some one and often get my words in a jumble and have to take a moment to gather my thoughts before speaking again.

A few things I've read about Aspies I don't identify with very much, and that's why I have my doubts.

Like, about the vast amounts of pets; I don't have pets and I don't exactly have the desire to be a pet owner.
Maybe a dog but I am not sure since I don't like animals all that much. But I am a vegetarian though, so I guess I like them enough.

Also about the dates and math interest; I am terrible with dates and abstract math. Basic math has never been a problem for me but everything else seems to be too much.

I do have a knack for remembering useless information, like lyrics, some facts, and movie and literature quotes. I love quotes And patterns do fascinate me. As do words.

My nephew shows some signs of Autism and some of the things he does don't seem weird at all to me. Like if his food breaks he won't eat it and that he has to have the same foods night after night, I'm the same way.

I have OCD and ADD, and I think I may have borderline personality disorder and I have episodes of severe depression.

Now, I don't know if I have AS but I've had a suspicion that I maybe on the spectrum for mild AS.

I have no medical insurance so, I can't go see a psychologist or psychiatrist about this either. It'd just me nice to know there is a reason as to why I feel like I'm so different to everyone else.

Additional details; I'm 20 years old and female and I've taken a few "AQ"s quizzes and the average score is 39-44.

edit: Someone on here suggested I take the test in the members only section of the site and that's my score.
Your Aspie score: 189 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 13 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Last edited by curiosityofoldcrows on 23 Mar 2009, 3:33 pm, edited 4 times in total.

You posted in the right place. That is very insightful, and the issues you mentioned are very common with others on here.

Psychologists are overrated.

My psychologist called me unable to cope with others.

XD

That's quite a lot in a post, but 'hi.'

Are you asking for advice? As in, Asperger's diagnosis and where to get this if indicated? Probably only you can know and if you need/want a diagnosis then there ought to be a psychologist in your area to formally do this and the process is extensive/expensive. Self-diagnosis can be iffy. If that's your question_unsure.

But welcome, relatively new member!

Thanks, I was already getting anxious that I didn't.

I've got an official diagnosis and I can relate with some things you've said.
I have the desire to have a hamster, but I'm not big on pets. I don't think I'd be a good hamster owner anyway. I had an ant farm when I was younger though, but it was more of an obsession as opposed to the whole, 'I love animals' thing. I don't think ants constitute as pets anyway.
EMZ=]

Erh. Yes, sorry that was sort of my question and I didn't even say it in my 1000+ words post.

I'm not sure if I have AS either, but I can still give you some advice.

I am 99% sure you will never know with absolute certainty until you get a diagnosis.

I'm speaking to a psychologist now about it. I care enough to pay $75 every two weeks. I know that sounds crazy. It IS crazy. If I do get diagnosed, I'll probably continue doubting...since I've had my doubts about psychologists in general.

So if you want to hop into the cycle, go for it.

That's all

It wasn't until I was 30 that I could get all the months in a year in the right order and I still have trouble spelling 'February.' Anything beyond addition and subtraction of whole numbers and easy fractions is a challenge for me and I had a hard time even with my multiplication tables for several years after the point where i was supposed to know them.

But wow - I can draw awesome pictures.

I'm having a diagnostic evaluation in May, so I guess I'll find out if being a moron at math is a deal-killer..

my (gvt appointed teen-angst-specialized) shrink told me i am childish, prejudist, and need to get a grip.

i couldnt even be arsed to give him a reaction.

i later got a so called appointed "specialized psychiatrist" and he heard me out for 3 hours, and concluded that i am childish, prejudist, and needs to get a grip.

next week hopefully im seeing the doctor. i met her for the first time some months ago, and she immediately suspected ADD. thank god she isnt in a hurry to just tell me to "get a grip". i hope she will be more insightful, cus i need more than to be told to "get a grip". once one is getting close to 30, "teen angst" should no longer apply

You had listed some major features related to Asperger syndrome. MY INTERETS ARE DRAWING AND MUSIC TOO.




Not everyone here obessed with math, right? I am not good at math either but I used to obsess with my examine scores, obsessing with numbers doesn't mean that you have to like math I guess.

This is probably the better of the internet self-assessments freely available on-line.

No one can reliably tell you on the internet whether you have AS or not. In fact many health professionals cannot reliably tell you in person (assessment of ASDs is a specialized skill set that most health professionals are lacking in).

As to pets and maths, neither of these are diagnostic. In fact, although many people with AS might be good at maths, AS is also associated with a higher rate of dyscalclia (than is seen in the general populations) and people with dyscalclia are usually not good at maths or with numbers (by definition).

I live in California everything here is overpriced and that includes doctor visits. So, seventy-five doesn't seem like that much but considering that one diagnosis is probably not enough for you, paying that amount does seem crazy.


Uh, thanks.

Certainly hope it's not, then we'll just be back where we began...

If you go to the Members Only forum, there's a handy AS test there. It's not the last word, but it will tell you which way the winds blow...