Should I file an EEOC complaint against boss?

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To file a complaint or not? that is the question...

Long story short, I just found out that I qualified as being disabled and I am struggling to decide if I should take legal action against my former employer.

Considering myself disabled is a very very new thing. It took four attorneys/law professionals repeating that to me to actually believe that was true. I struggled with the term because I am able to work, but admittedly I have some pretty severe limitations related to neurological damage/cognitive quirks (similar to autism/asperger's plus seizures and a couple of odd learning disabilities thrown in but evened out with a very high IQ), and I can only function within certain kinds of jobs.

I told my boss about it after I was hired, mainly to help reduce confusion as to why i function the way i do at times. The request for accommodation was really really simple - put things that are important in writing and to understand that i may not perceive non-verbal or non-literal ways of communication, so if conflict occurs to tell me about it in a constructive way. I was a bit naive when I told him, and didn't use the magic word "disability" or tell HR about my accommodation requests because at the time I didn't understand how the laws worked. I told him about my health issues really to reduce misunderstandings with others.

Pretty much months later conflict between us increased, i kept asking for third party assistance with miscommunication and to have things in writing. They responded by asking me to resign. I stuck around still not getting that they didn't like me. more conflict. more stress. cycle continued. during the mean time i developed a second type of disability (welcome to being diagnosed with severe Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent). I took time off to psychiatric reasons and told him that the workplace stress was hurting me. things got worse when i returned. I'll spare you the details but it was really really bad. Finally I gave up and quit when i realized if i stayed i would probably increase my odds of suicide to one in five. Sorry, but no job is worth that.

So, where am I now? unemployed and in an intensive outpatient group program trying to balance between getting better and risk of involuntary lock up because I am not on any meds (due to bad chemical mix with disability number one). I have had plenty of time to ponder but I am still undecided as to what to do next...

So here is the question...

Do I file a complaint with EEOC or not?

Pro - ideally a sense of peace (for standing up to corporate bully and acknowledgment of the pain), maybe improve management practices, info on mental health resources such as counseling and neutral conflict resolution, part of the collective movement to bring about change and to challenge prejudice, small small chance of cash to cover medical impact (but i wouldn't bet on it).

Con - dealing with the emotions involved with the investigation process, stagnation of my life, potentially even worse reputation because of stigma of mental illness and accusations that my concerns aren't "real" and i am only doing this for money, fear of larger implications for future employment if word got out that i am disabled with a preference for lawyers

any thoughts?

I am unclear as to how your supervisor(s) actually bullied you, mostly because you "spared" the details. You haven't really given enough information as to the specific incidents that led to your Major Depression. I have an extremely clear idea of what you went through as I went through a similar type conflict with an overbearing Major in the Army during my 2nd tour in Iraq. Based on the information you gave, I can't really conclude that your supervisor did anything to you that would warrant such action on your part. You might just have to take your lumps unless you can produce some specific traumatic incidents. If I was to look at it from the company's point of view, I would conclude that your supervisors were getting exasperated with trying to accommodate a medical condition which you were being hesitant about disclosing to them. They were trying to usher you out of the company nicely by giving you hints that you were not working out there, but they kept giving you chances. When you told your boss about your medical problems without using the "D"word, all you did was put a big target on your head for future abuse. Companies don't like having to make accommodations for non-disabled people.

I'm not even sure if your boss was even a workplace bully. He probably thought that you were not thriving at the place of business so they decided to get rid of you in the NT way of dropping hints that you of course failed to recognize. It was perhaps on them for failing to honor your request for accommodations by giving you things in writing or break down the current conflict into baby steps, but they probably thought that that was interfering too much with your productivity there. In any case, I don't see anyway that you could win an argument against them with the information you gave. I don't doubt that you had a terrible time of it there. They exploited your condition and treated you with no respect after you returned from your psychiatric leave(they were probably quite upset when you stubbornly stuck around.)

If you decide that the trauma that occured was bad enough, I suggest you file your complaint as soon as possible while the events are still somewhat fresh and all those same bosses and coworkers are still working there. If you don't file, I guarantee that in 5 years you will be sorry that you didn't. I had a fantasy the other day about suing my old school district for bully-related trauma, but I don't think I can go through with it.

Quick response to prior statement

1) yes, they were bullies. no doubt in my mind about that. screaming at you to resign is not exactly a subtle hint. On going harassment included blocking me from working, changing deadlines, increased surveillance, social isolation, verbal intimidation, etc... for months prior to quitting.

2) technically I do qualify as disabled because of 2008 changes to the ADA. Disabled within the ADA is defined based on impact on your life, rather than ability to work (different definition than SSI). For proper notification and request for accomodation can be implied verbally using "plain english."

3) my productivity was not an issue and all work was excellent, instead they criticized my behavior/manner of interacting. They never actually write up a letter of reprimand and couldn't fire me so they instead resorted to intimidation.

regardless of evidence, eligibility, or likelihood of winning... what it boils down to is should I file a complaint and say what they did was wrong, or "let it go"?

Yes, file the complaint.

I just noted how in your first statement you said they "asked" you to resign and in your 2nd statement it was "screamed at" to resign.

good observation, the resignation requests happened multiple times over the course of a month, amongst other not so nice actions.

I recently decided that I will only file a complaint if I can get past my anger, desire for revenge, delusions of any chance of winning, etc... Chances are I will just represent myself (no lawyers) and try to say my story and seek closure relatively quickly rather than trying to prove that I am "right." Part of me wants to believe that they just didn't know any better and that it was just a really big misunderstanding, however to accept this take on reality the burden shifts back on me to inform them that their actions hurt and ways to improve interactions with those of us who are cognitively different, aspies, dealing with mental illness, etc...

Having severe depression really really sucks. I have essentially been unable to function for the past six months because I have been so overwhelmed and trapped within myself. I am working on the healing process right now. I know that the real cost of filing a complaint will likely be the prolonging this mental state. That's why it is a hard choice. I want to heal, I want to create a better foundation for other in the future, I want to move on...

What would probably help me most in coming to a decision would be to listen to other folks thoughts and stories. Has anyone else ever file an EEOC complaint before? What was it like? Was it worth the effort? Did it produce any change?

I would say that if you moved on to another job, it won't do much good to file a complaint now, but you're unemployed, so there's not much harm in doing so as you could use anything it would gain for you.

Move quickly. There's a time limit for filing complaints.