Friend/dating sites and sudden silence - common?

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Mienai
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Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Age: 45
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Location: UK

28 Apr 2009, 2:12 pm

So I browse a few personal ad sites mainly looking for people to just hang out with really, and if the mood strikes and the ad sounds ok, some of the dating ones. But I tend to never get a reply when I send an email to them. Or if I do it goes back and forth a little but then drops dead suddenly.

Is it me, or does this happen most of the time? I don't think I come off as a jerk or weird in them... I actually actively fight those normal urges and write like I think an NT would.

Or is it because I am not 18/f? -_-

msinglynx
Toucan
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Joined: 30 Jul 2008
Age: 40
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Location: Albuquerque, NM

28 Apr 2009, 2:13 pm

um I think thats normal?

also, after a certain amount of time it is expected to meet in person, at least over coffee. The whole point of dating sites is to get a date...

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Pugly
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28 Apr 2009, 2:39 pm

I send out a few emails here and there, if someone seems really interesting.

I've had a couple of communications fizzle on my behalf, because I'm lazy and communicating by email is hard for me. It just takes too much effort to think up what to say to someone that isn't that interesting to me.

If we were face to face, it might be different because we can talk about whatever and there could be a natural flow... however awkward it might.

I'm supposing if you don't get emails back something similar is going on.

It's really hard to connect with someone in such a contrived way...

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SmartGuy26
Emu Egg
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
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28 Apr 2009, 3:53 pm

Pugly wrote:

That's exactly how I am too. I'm way better communicating in person than on the phone or online. I can't stand to use the phone at all.

Ichinin
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28 Apr 2009, 6:09 pm

If you send a "Hi!" or a "Hello, how are you?" or "What are you wearing." you will most likely not get a reply.

I have learned that humor is a great icebreaker when first writing to a girl. Or commenting on something she has written on her presentation.

I also have problems keeping the conversation going, but you could always switch communications by exchanging MSN/Phonenumber if you prefer those types of communications.

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dtoxic
Deinonychus

Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Age: 54
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Location: Boston MA

28 Apr 2009, 7:33 pm

It's natural for these scenarios to fizzle. The key to any success in meeting people online is to do volume (try a lot of different people) and you'll eventually hit it off with somebody. You'll have to shrug off the attempts that don't go anywhere, which can be annoying or depressing.

makuranososhi
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29 Apr 2009, 1:56 pm

Mienai wrote:

My experience: a lot of dead ends, no responses. Of those who I did begin to converse, perhaps 2 out of 3 would decay within a week or two. That said, some of my favourite people to talk to online are from such chance encounters.

M.

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Rack
Snowy Owl

Joined: 18 Feb 2008
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02 May 2009, 12:33 pm

Bear in mind that 99% of dating sites are scams and the remaining 1% don't have anything of a membership. You'll have to create an interesting and personal email to get a chance of a response, but the odds are very low she'll even be able to read the email. Of the people who respond there's a fair to good chance they're just employees trying to string you along.

starygrrl
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02 May 2009, 2:45 pm

Okcupid worked out well for me. I have met several friends there and my current partner there. I would pretty much forget about the rest. Oh yeah...its free, and has an IM client in it.

makuranososhi
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02 May 2009, 5:19 pm

starygrrl wrote:

Okcupid worked out well for me. I have met several friends there and my current partner there. I would pretty much forget about the rest. Oh yeah...its free, and has an IM client in it.

^Agreed... it's quirky, but it's been my favourite for finding the odd and unusual people that I enjoy so much.

Come, comrades... to OKCuba! *halo* It's just one of those days - random.

M.

semota
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03 May 2009, 6:49 am

Mienai wrote:

I have quite a lot of experience on this terrain. I think that the problem is that the men are expected to make the first step, e.g. usually the men write messages to the women, and the women usually get a ton of letters everyday. But really. I think that I received ~40-50 letters in 10 minutes. It's a huge amount!
I think that you have to write a very unique letter, and not just a few sentences AND/OR prepare a very detailed profile page.

Tim_Tex
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07 May 2009, 2:02 am

I made a few friends on Plenty Of Fish.

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