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neblee
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07 May 2009, 9:46 pm

Hi,

I just found this message board this morning, and joined because I think this would be a great community to express my thoughts with other Asperger's types.

To introduce myself, I'm 24 years old, of taiwanese descent (but born in the USA), and been diagnosed with mild tourette syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome. I had my first crush when I was 11 years old, and to this day, I still have no luck of finding a relationship. I'm 24 now, and looking back at all the mistakes I've made trying to find a girlfriend, I find that it's not because of me, but because of "Asperger's Syndrome." It's difficult for us "anti-social" or "non-social" people to find and build relationships with the opposite sex.

It also must take a lot of guts and an "I don't care" attitude to go out there and socialize with people, and don't let other people's bad reactions of thinking, "Wow, this guy is weird", or any of their discouraging looks get us down.

Anyway, I made this topic to see if there are any other AS types out there who have NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP, and I was thinking of maybe just talking about our "trials and errors" in our lives, and what makes it so hard for us AS types to not build relationships.

And if there's anybody in the Seattle, WA area. Please holler out.



neblee
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07 May 2009, 9:48 pm

just hope i'm not the only one out there whose 24, never been in a relationship, would hear me out. i'm guessing i'm not alone in this.



Tahitiii
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07 May 2009, 10:21 pm

Hi, neblee.

(Edited)

Most of the people here are nice and want to be helpful. Just stick around.



Last edited by Tahitiii on 07 May 2009, 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Learning2Survive
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07 May 2009, 10:49 pm

i'm 22 and never had a date. and there's something about me that makes people super bored with me and drives them away.


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glider18
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07 May 2009, 11:02 pm

I want to say hi neblee and welcome to the WrongPlanet. I am 44 years old and have been married to the same woman for 19 years. Even though you are wanting to talk to other singles here, I would like to add my experieces to you.

I too have Asperger's. And when I was a teenage guy I found the opposite sex very difficult for me to approach. I didn't know why at the time---but now I realize it was Asperger's. I really don't know if I would have ever gotten married had it not been for a friend of mine arranging a date for the girl who later became my wife.

Well...my first date had to be weird because I talked about roller coasters all evening---one of my intense interests. But you know what, she liked me. On following dates I used to bring along house plan books---another interest. But still, she liked me. I have often told her, "I don't why you put up with me." But she said I was fun...and different.

Well...perhaps this is something to think about as you pursue a relationship with that special somebody and friends. Be yourself. If they don't like it---then that is not the person for you. That special someone will come along if you keep looking.

Anyway...I hope you enjoy the WrongPlanet. There are many supportive members here to help. It's been years since I was your age, but it seems like only yesterday. You have a whole life before you neblee. Please focus on your positives and enjoy life. And as you search around the WrongPlanet long enough, you will probably soon discover my messages here and how I call autism a gift. You have to unwrap the gift, accept the gift, and nurture the gift---and it will do extraordinary things. This gift is often your intense interests...or it can be some aspect of yourself.


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rainbowbutterfly
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08 May 2009, 12:38 am

I'm 25 (going on 26 in August) and I've never been in a relationship. For me, I think it's from a combination of reasons, including shyness, not knowing how to meet people, being picky, and fear from humiliating experiences with crushes in the past.



neblee
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08 May 2009, 3:23 am

thanks for the replies guys. i appreciate it a lot. good to know i'm not the only one going through this. my problem was shyness especially around people of the opposite sex, and initiating and being in social situations with groups larger than 1 person. Usually dining out with a group of people sitting at a table and starting/replying in normal conversations. It's always hard. I'm getting a bit better by just making myself learn and have confidence with my own appearances and I believe the right girl will come if I just keep looking, and think positively. If the girl isn't interested in me, it's her loss, but I'm sure there's a girl out there for every guy, and a guy out there for every girl in this world.



SoulcakeDuck
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08 May 2009, 4:56 am

Welcome



TheSocialReject
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08 May 2009, 9:29 am

Hey neeble Im new too :]

Ive always been sigh and never the REALLY out going person But I think that im Like
Changing that? Im pretty random at times But then Im the quiet one to in my group at school Ive just reasionally found at kids in our little group were talking behind my back being a wana be of this tool at school this just put my depression down alot
Also the girl I have a massive crush for well I dont know if she likes me or not...

But yeah ive found it hard to get into relation ships My longest was 4 months with my first girlfriend which I broke up with...
So hard but you move on And you dont have to change for anyone You'll find your one <3 just keep looking mayb they'll find you ;)



JetLag
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08 May 2009, 10:25 am

"Hello," fellow-traveler neblee, and welcome aboard the Wrong Planet.


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richie
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08 May 2009, 4:44 pm

Image
To WrongPlanet!! !Image


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