I took my son to the doctor...

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My son seems very aspie to me, so I took him to a doctor who specializes in childhood autism.
She said that since he is *connected* to me and his dad, he is probably not autistic, that autistic children aren't like that. This is a child who walks around in a world of his own, who plays happily buy himself for hours, and who pushes chidlren away who try to play with them, or throws a temper tantrum if they do. He is making better eye contact than he used to, but it is never prolonged as with his siblings. He also doesn't talk very much (though when he does, he is pretty articulate)., and when he does, it's this teeny tiny little voice. I think what makes me think he is aspie though, is the look in his eyes. There is this....preoccupied, inward gaze. He sees the objects around him, but ....well, it is hard to describe. I have much the same expression in many of my childhood pictures.

She diagnosed him with 'elective mutism' b/c he didn't say a peep while he was there. She said that she is reluctant to saddle him with a label that might have negative repercussions down the road, even thoguh he does have some aspie traits.

And she told <i>me</i> that she isn't convinced that I'm aspie, either, that I might simply have OCD. She says I should see a psychiatrist (I would like to and cannot afford it). I noticed that through the appointment, as time went on she was discounting a lot of what I said and giving more weight to what my son's father said.

Objective opinions, anyone?

What about the part of being connected to his parents (his dad is also very introverted). He is the only child of mine that I do feel very strongly connected to, that I feel a kinship with, and the others are all much more demonstrative and attention seeking.

I have seen aspie children who are bonded to their parents...is this rare or something?

I'm only a teenager myself and don't have an official d/x, so you may discount this or not as you wish.

I have a very connected relationship with my grandmother, who helped raise me. She and I can sit and talk for hours and she is also the only person I make more than momentary eye contact with. I can't even do that with my boyfriend.

I also have a few very, very deep bonds with a small handful of select people. I have two best female friends and my boyfriend.

I have very few casual bonds. I'm either close to someone, or I can't stand their company.

I'd also like to tell you that I was much like the way in which you describe your son when I was young. My habits resulted in my being bullied for most of my life, so if you aren't satisfied with your dx for your son, get a second opinion and find someone who can help you to iether get the d/x you want or can prove to you that a different d/x is correct. You may be the only person who can get your son help so that he can learn to at least tolerate other children as playmates.

I would go to someone else. You will find that a title doesn't necessarily mean you are good at what you do. Find someone that you get a better vibe from. When you feel like someone is listening to you and not discounting the things you say, then you might have found the right one.

That woman you went to.. I think she was actually trying to help you. If I was you, and she told me that, I would think she was trying to help me in a weird(cool) sort of way.

Here is what someone else who knows more than I do on a topic like this said.. and I believe them.

Well, first of all, Asperger's does fall under the heading of Autism. When we think of Autistic, we think of a child that is sitting in a corner rocking back and forth and totally non-verbal. At least that is what I always envisioned when I heard the term 'autism'.

While that is one end of the autistic scale, AS is at the other end. AS is a form of high functioning autism and for the most part, our kids appear quite 'normal' .

My daughter has AS and was dianosed at the age of 5 although I knew there was something 'different' about her even before that. It was nothing really obvious, just little things like the way she phrased things or the way she could memorize, word for word several scenes from her favorite Disney movie even when she was only 3 or 4 yrs old. She would always talk about herself in the 3rd person sort of way . Even though she was very chatty at home and was a friendly child, she had to always be prompted for a reply to a question or comment made to her by someone she knew well. She would often appear to be in 'her own little world' and could play for hours all by herself quite happily.

She is a very warm, and loving child that is very connected to her family. I don't think this is unusual for kids with AS. She is affectionate, gently and kind. I think the emotional differences between kids with AS can be as great as the behavioural differences. You can't really make generalizations with AS and say that they all do this or they all do that.

My advice to you would be to seek another opinion. I would not be satisfied with the advice you have been given thus far. If you believe that your child is 'different' that follow your instinct and look into it further.

Katelynsmom