son ran away tonight

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i am so mentally drained right now..........i took my son to his therapist appt today, and he got angry at something she said ~ he stormed out and said that he was walking home ( 6 miles, and a whole city away)....he's left the therapists office before, said the same threat, but then hid in the car or in her yard. we searched for him, i drove home the same way we always do, i got home and he wasn't here....... . i called the police ~ yeah ~ when you're frantic about your lost son, it's not that easy to take a breath and explain to them what aspergers is............at any rate, i ended up going back to the therapists house...by the time i got there, my other son had called my cell # to let me know that my son had made it home.the police followed me home to make sure that my son was, indeed , home. then the officer talked with him about not doing this again. ( of course, before i got home i had to call to let them know i was on the way with a police escort).he's ok, thank God....grounded, but ok.............and his only response to me was " i said i was walking home."

how old is he?

14

You must of been frantic ((hugs)) to you, thank God he was okay.

Was he baffled that he got punished for telling you that he was walking home? I know my own son would be ranting that he told me and that I overreact and its not fair and bah bah bah. Not getting the whole situation.

OMG ! he totally didn't understand why we were so upset, nor that the police were out in force looking for him......we found him just as the police were entering his name into the database for missing children.........................he said, " well i told you i was walking home." we had to explain that , because he had said this before and merely just hidden out in his therapist's yard, we didn't believe that he'd actually do it....still kind of flighty today.

I can still remember with 3 police officers in the house my son waltzes in and said OMG what happened why are the police here. Oh brother, to this day he still could not understand that he was missing and he didn't answer his phone, and I was frantic of his typical routine home after school 3:10 no later or I get a call. He turned to the police and said to them Mom overreacts . I was at the mall and missed the last bus so I had to walk home and my phone went dead. Needlesstosay it happened 2 more times each with an excuse (that made sense logically) but who thinks logically when your frantic. Did he get it NO! He will be the death of me. I try not to panic anymore but I make sure his phone is charged before he goes anywhere.

*hugs*...it's nice to know that i'm not the only one out there...things are somewhat calmer today. we told son that instead of taking away the computer, tv and/or xbox that we were starting a "community service program". we assigned him 20 hours of community service ~ he must spend at least 1 hour per day doing community service until the 20 hours are complete. as we consider our family a community, his service will be to the household. so far tonight he has gathered all of the dirty laundry in the house and brought it to the laundry room,washed a sink full of dishes, and is currently folding and sorting laundry. at least he's safe at home
oh, and as far as the cell phone thing goes, son loses things all of the time...i'm not about to get him a cell phone.

What a great idea this community service. I have to try that instead of taking things away. I'm glad things are calmer for you.
Thank goodness ds never lost his cell (actually anything electronical) but can lose everything else.

One on one sessions are very stressful. Imagine being stuck in a lift with your boss for a couple of hours and them going over your mistakes and telling you how you could of avoided making them. It is like a pressure cooker where neither party has a chance to escape and consider their actions until something explodes. After the experience it would be perfectly reasonable for you to go for a walk to clear you head.

I had a similar problem at school with one on one sessions. After a few incidents we agreed that I could leave at any time so long as I did not go off the campus and that when I had calmed down I came back. When I came back we would have a discussion about why I left and I had to give the reason. I would either say sorry I over reacted, or I felt I was being patronised or that they were being very negative etc and if necessary they would apologise. Usually both of us would admit some responsibility.

As I could escape before all logic disappeared I would calm down quicker. The person I was with would know what started it and how to avoid the situation in the future. Quite quickly we could have the discussion with out me needing to walk out.

As a bonus I would say that now I am very good as speaking to people in an assertive but polite and concise way about things that deeply annoy me.

Had similar situation when I was 12 I kept being late for dinner my mom freaked out got the big leacture on being home for 6 and dinner next day arived home at 6 not a minute before Ifigured I could do anything I wanted till 6 as stated in the leactuer didnt check in or anything which i ussally did but she said "I dont care what your doing be home at 6" ifigured she knew i'd be home so why check in oh boy was i wrong she indead was frantic and called the cops and I was baffled I was home when she said just didint get it i did exactly as asked only to be punished for it

i, too, have a therapist for my own personal bag of tricks...i do understand how intense one on one sessions can be. it is Totally acceptable for him to say that he needs to take space, and we are working on getting him to actually say this instead of tantruming and storming off............i have no issue with him having to leave the room, what i do take issue with is him walking home on main roads in the dark with his all-black attire ! terribly stressful worrying that he's been hit by a car


this is what we're hoping for !