Is politeness above all always?

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I was fired with a vague reason last month, after having done the work of 2-3 people for 2 years, working 11-12 hours a day and attending issues on weekends often, and having received a prize for dedication and performance a year ago. I didn't even get a thanks, let alone any recognition for all my efforts.

In this economy and at my age, I'll be lucky if I can ever find a new job, making 1/3 of this salary. My situation is a bit desperate.

A couple days ago I ran by chance into the vice-CEO who manages the dept. I used to work at, and who made the ultimate decision to fire me. He tapped my arm in a close, friendly gesture, said hi Greentea ! !! happily, and asked me how I am, with a broad smile and a fun tone, then joked with me gaily about my being a "Photographer" (I was taking photos, we were in a course lesson).

Was I supposed to draw strengths that I don't feel I have to smile and be nice back?

Pretty old lesson to not burn bridges, even if you already crossed them. Work has social rules - and the ex-boss is just following them. At least they didn't ignore you and act like you didn't exist.

You don't want to work for someone or fight for a job where they don't want you. Take it as a learning experience and move forward.

Hi, Greentea. That sounds like rather callous behaviour on his part. If he knows that you were fired, he must be aware that you'd be feeling upset and anxious at the moment, so joking with you seems inappropriate. He's lucky that you responded in a dignified way- some ex-employees might have been less polite. I agree with TobyZ that it was better that he spoke to you rather than just ignoring you, but some honest acknowledgement of your situation would have been better. I'm sorry- it must have felt like an awkward situation for you. Jenny

well done for not slapping the Ceo.. i'd have been tempted.
politeness often gets in the way of honesty & thus is not really THAT polite..

If they fired you for a vage reason you can write a letter to the according to the Dale Carnellie instructions, to ask them a propper reason for it and to make then understand they lost a valueable worker.

Well, that's at least is what I would do... all times I got fire was due to something I did. So I'm not the expert here but good luck!

Jenny, my thoughts exactly. At the very least, he could've refrained from trying to engage me in joking, fun behavior, when I'm obviously grieving and with huge financial problems and facing a very tough future - which HE himself caused.

If I left someone on the streets, I wouldn't try to engage them in fun a couple weeks later. My boss and my direct supervisor at least didn't expect me to smile and joke with them. On the contrary, they offered me help in my future.

My reaction was to look at him like I don't comprehend his gaity (which is true) and say nothing, continue focusing my camera.

My guess is he was acting that way because he knew you knew it was he who made the ultimate decision about your fate with the company and he didn't know how else to handle it. Maybe he has that way of handling it rehearsed for such occasions because they come up a lot. He was trying to be amicable, sounds like, for better or worse.

I would equate it with a "form letter" that gets sent to people. A Standard letter gets distributed to lots of people and isn't personal. It's a generic one-size-fits-all approach to awkward moments.

Ana and locust, again my thoughts exactly. He'd never re-hire me, he'd never move a finger to help me in my future, he'd never risk his reputation by putting a fair word about me to anyone (since he fired me, I must be bad), so I fail to see where he could be a bridge for me.

And Ana, you're spot on. This company is (in)famous for constantly firing and hiring massively, so he's in this situation a lot. Then again, since he's an uber-NT, wouldn't he have enough Theory of Mind to know that when you hurt/destroy someone financially/emotionally, you don't come trying to joke with them 2 weeks later?? If I'd acted like him, we would've said it's a typical Aspie behavior.

I know about companies like that. We call them "high turnovers" over here. They have a high turn over rate and it's harder to advance. You must have been an outstanding employee to last a few years.

My guess is he's aware that you aren't happy and he's hoping to make amends (as best as possible) and keep the situation from getting too emotional or tense. He has the typical public relations persona/approach going and it is well rehearsed. I am sure he's aware that you aren't happy with the situation. Such people who are in charge of making these decisions know what it means to people but they have all kinds of rationalizations in place. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if more people who got fired went and asked for one more chance or to be rehired?Sometimes they do rehire people. You can talk things over and try to reach an understanding.

People pretend that nothing's wrong all the time and go into denial. It's very confusing.

My supervisor would always behave like this, laughing while telling me he had yet to complete important duties he'd neglected for months. One time, it created such incongruity and stress in my mind that I punched my desk until my hand bled. The stress of working with him was immense and made me ill, yet he'd enquire ever so nicely about my health, attributing everything to disability.

That is shocking. How could he imagine that you'd appreciate friendly greetings and jokes from the person who fired you? I would have thought it would have been more tactful for him to have just pretended he hadn't seen you.

These people are so powerful that they rarely meet anyone who doesn't think "whatever nasty things he did to me, I'd better be all smiles to him because he's so influential". They're therefore surrounded by ass-kissers all the time, so maybe the last thing he imagined was that someone would dare not kiss his ass even after having been unfairly fired by him...